Letters to the Editor
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Too old to text?!?!?!
I'm 46 and my boyfriend is 45. We text all the time.
It's great and convenient. Just because the kids are doing it doesn't mean us 'oldsters' can't do it too.
Just a thought.
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Hard of hearing?
My wife's something of a phone shouter, too. I suspect she's suffering a little hearing loss (and not getting adequate feedback from the phone).
However, she also says I don't speak clearly enough, and I suspect there's some truth to that, too.
One test is whether the writer's wife has problems with other callers. If not, maybe marriage counseling is the answer. :-)
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"Unhuman" design of typical cellphone
I agree with many of the technical ideas about the wife who's terrible on the cellphone. Especially that she's probably not lining up the silly little hole with her ear so she can hear the caller. I've never seen a cell phone that's well adapted to human use. When it comes to human factors, they're all junk.
I will add to the heap of cellphone criticism that you will find that there are often significant transmission delays from phone to phone, a fact I confirmed by "calling myself" using my personal and business cell phones. It's as though you're going through satellite links even on local calls. The delays can be long enough to mess with the normal rhythm of conversation.
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Duh, why don't you...
...just text her instead?
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hang on
I didn't say I was too old to text. That's not why I love my rotary phone. You're really pushing the reading between the lines. I just have WAY more fun things to do than text "I'm on my way home." I just go home and then do real stuff, not text about it, or watch a tv show about it.
This isn't a issue about Luddites being afraid of technology. It's about a guy who critizes his wife for doing things "the wrong way", and feeling like he has to know where she is every hour. Control. That's what it's about: control. It's not aout technophobes.
I love new technology, new music, new clothes. I also love old retro stuff. Don't mean I"m heading for the nursing home just cuz I'm over 40 or I'm afraid to use one of those newfangled Ipods. It just means I am too busy having fun to text you about it.
stop trying to embarass people who are DISINTERESTED in texting, not afraid.
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A few easy solutions
1. Have your wife try a headset for her phone. However, this may not help her if she's on her phone while driving, what with noises from the road, car heater or air conditioner, etc. (While my hearing is fairly good, I almost always use a headset with my cell phone. But when I'm in a moving car, I still have difficulty hearing the person on the other end of the phone.)
2. When your wife starts shouting, politely point it out and ask her to lower her voice. My boyfriend is a "loud talker" (usually in person but not on the phone). When this happens, I tell him, "Honey, you're being kind of loud." Or I (playfully) shout back, "Why are you yelling at me?"
3. When you and your wife start to talk over each other, pause for a moment and say, "Go ahead." And then wait for her to finish what she was saying.
Good luck!
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and plusq
no one said they were scared of learned to text. They said IT'S DANGEROUS TO DRIVE AND TEXT AT THE SAME TIME.
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Your Poor Wife
The technical advice is very smart, but what I want to know is if this happens when she calls you, or when you call her.
Because I feel empathy for your wife. My cell has added little to my life, but been the catalyst (and sometimes the cause) of much stress. First of all, I hate feeling obliged to respond to the Pavlovian nightmare. Your blood pressure goes up when you dial, imagine how she feels when you make a bell ring on her person, and do not doubt that most husbands do treat it as their wife’s obligation to answer.
Think about that for a moment. You make a bell ring and expect her to respond.
And what for? How many true emergencies, and I mean REAL problems, has the phone diverted? Probably NONE. But if you are like all other cell phone users I know you use it to change plans at the last minuet and ask her to run errands. In other words, to add stress to her life.
Then while you are at it you add in a dose of anxiety, I’m checking in on you because I expect you to be in danger/trouble. I don’t trust you to navigate through your own life without being presided over by the omniscient ear of ME.
And now there is a new layer, she doesn’t do it well enough, she isn’t up to your snuff, and believe me she hears that in your voice.
She responds to your bell like a well trained pup but she is flustered, out of the house, concentrating on something else, probably had to fish it out of a handbag, and after that the damn thing doesn’t sound right--
but you expect her to be gracious about it.
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Practice
It sounds like both of you are terrified of your cell phones. (and newfangled technology too, but that's something else entirely)
Perhaps PRACTICE talking on cell phone to each other? Maybe tell your wife "I love you but it completely kills me to have to talk to you on your cell. Let's figure out these crazy little devices together."
Then call your wife on her cell from, like, the kitchen, while she's in the bathroom. If she starts shouting "CAN YOU HEAR ME!" tell her to quiet down. Maybe go into the bathroom and say "I want to see if we can do this in a normal voice but I can hear you across the house if you're shouting."
Practice.
Maybe even start small...calling from opposite ends of the couch and insisting that you speak quietly to ensure you are hearing each other through the phone and not just regularly.
For what it's worth my boss is pushing 60 and had to teach me how to use the blackberry I got from this job. She's all about texting. She'll text me when we're sitting next to each other at the same screening to let me know the movie stinks. Haha.