Letters to the Editor
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You are delusional, as you will find
that older guys, with money, are quite active with young women (under 33 years old) and the younger women find power and money quite an aphrodisiac. Something you would know nothing about. Older women have nothing to offer young men, except easy obtained sex. End of story.
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RE: So Ben
Wow, that's quite an extrapolation. I'm not Ben, but let's see if we're on the same page
<<Hot younger men date older women because they are the easiest targets for sex. Hot younger men can have hot younger women, but, when they are choosing older women, are doing so only for sex, not for intelligent conversation or anything like that. Just sex, because it's easier with an older woman than a younger woman. So, hot younger men eschew great sex with hot younger women in order to have easier, less hot sex with older women.>>
No. Hot sex with younger women is not always available. When it's not available I hit a cougar.
<<Older men date younger women because younger women are hotter and sex with hotter women, is, in most men's minds even if not in fact, better sex. But, as we've already demonstrated, older women are the easiest targets for sex. So if older men prefer to date younger women, it must be because older men prefer harder-to-obtain sex with younger women than easier sex with older women.>>
Older men have already been hitting older women for years....they are going back to the fountain of youth for non-sagging curves. Sex with a younger woman is easier for an older man than when he was younger.
<<Older women date hot younger men because they have much better bodies, more sexual longevity and less bitterness than older men. And of course, because it's so easy to have sex with them, with their a) belief that older women are the easiest targets and b) preference for easy rather than hot sex.>>
No one said it was a preference...it's just easier, see comment 1 above.
<<Now why do younger women date older men? They can't get it up, they can't make it last, and their libidos are so low they aren't even interested in chasing the 'easy' sex offered by older women....they want the 'trophy' sex with the hot younger woman.>>
$$$$$
<<Is your theory that hot younger women don't really enjoy sex, and would prefer to barter it to rich older men that hot young studs?>>
Bingo.
--Anonymous
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Re: You Are Delusional
So...the older men with the money and power find it easy to get sex from the younger women. And the older women with the "easy access" find it easy to get sex from hot, younger men.
Essentially, what you're saying is that both the older men AND the older women are out for sex, with the exception of the fact that the older women don't have to pay for it.
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RE:RE: Ben
Slight modification. Hot younger women do enjoy sex, they just have prioritized $$$ higher....or more likely they are also having sex with hot younger men.
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lordy
and to think that when i started reading salon i assumed the male readers would be intellectual gentlemen.
i'm one of those 50+ 'snaggle-toothed crones' whose bf is 1.5 decades younger. it isn't about sex OR money (we're both kind of broke), but we spend hours talking and laughing together. the sex is good too -- we both like it more doing it with someone we can spend hours talking and laughing with.
i have a feeling the misogynistic troglodytes here don't get out into the actual world very much, otherwise they'd be more familiar with the variety of attractive men and women in all age groups, at all income levels, and that human beings actually do form connections over things other than young-person sex and $$.
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Ladies you can
delude yourself all that you want, but the anecdotal and empirical data doesn't support your position.
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It's not spoiled to want children. . .
It's normal. Not everyone wants to "breed" (ugh, that disrespectful word), but most people, when they reach a certain level of maturity, do want kids. That's the way the world goes around. The desire to have children exists in every corner of the earth.
I know this has been mentioned before, but has the LW considered dating men who already have children and have already fulfilled that parenting desire? Would she be a decent stepmother?
Again, there's nothing wrong with NOT wanting to have children, but those who reach middle age without ever wanting children are in a minority, whether here in the United States or in any other country (not that there's anything wrong with being in a minority).
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Is it Age or Maturity?
Holy Cow
Having read through a lot of this thread, I am amazed at the defensiveness on both sides of this issue.
The LW has met the wrong men. It happens regardless of age. Apparently, a lot of those youger idiots like the ones she's met read and post on Salon. Those who think they'd ever only date "older women" for .. whatever assinine reasons they gave.
LW, you've simply met the wrong men, or, it is possible you've presented yourself unfavorably, or both.
It's not a queston of age, but of maturity. Yours and his.
There are many immature people of both sexes posting here; can't you see them? Don't be like those women and do not date those men.
Thanks to all of you though, I am now convinced my book has an audience.
Happily married woman to a man quite my junior-
Kellylark
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And younger women date older men for 1 reason:
$$$$$$.
The younger women want a sugar daddy to pay all their bills while they get it on with men close to their own age.
By the way, I'm a woman in my late 30s and I still sometimes get asked for my ID at restaurants and car rental agencies.
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@Harlaquina
Thank you for some female honesty. Why is it that women in their youth know exactly what men want, but when they get older they think men want them for their intellectually stimulating conversation ?
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And furthermore...
I think it's gross that the older men posting responses here are reducing us women down to our "usefulness" in the baby making department. If I was 15 years younger I would still be disgusted because when I was in my twenties I was hit on constantly by older men (40+) and let me tell you I didn't find any of them the least bit attractive. In fact, while I was politely brushing them off on the outside, on the inside I was gagging. Some of the responses here truly deepen my nausea and make me appreciate my singledom.
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Harlequina, you are
right. Most younger women date older men because they have money and younger women find that very appealing. You can be assured that younger men date older women because they are easier to bed than younger women, requiring less effort and money to get in the sack. If a man is 5 years or more younger than a woman that he marries it will not last (in most cases) and will result in problems. Practically speaking your comments on getting carded and getting looks proves my point of the insecurity of most women, especially the more attractive ones, and their need to be younger and their desire to compete with younger women. It is the norm.
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Ben
I realize you're usually an instigator but I still find your conclusions about younger woman vs. older way off. Probably the only reason a younger woman "is harder to bed and requires more money spent on her" is because she is trying to hold off as long as possible because she finds the older, rich man unattractive sexually, what with his paunchiness and all.
Trust me, the young woman these days are far more sexually aggressive and free then we older women were ever "allowed" to be. They'll sleep with a guy their age quickly without the old rules if they find him hot. They just make the older men wait because they just plain don't want them sexually and are using them for their money. The old guys know this but still want the arm candy for the restaurants and are willing to part with their money for the attention they'll receive from other older men.
As for the younger men I've dated, I didn't jump into bed with them immediately, just did the standard 3 date rule that most double standard dating abides by. So your theory about them being with me because I'm easy doesn't hold much water. Besides, I'm in better shape than a lot of the 20 somethings these days. I think a lot of older single women are. For whatever reason, high-fructose corn syrup, hormone-enfused milk, or just different lifestyles due to technology, younger women are far heavier than our generation ever was when we were their age although they're far more comfortable with their extra weight than girls back then (e.g. they'll wear belly shirts without seeming to care that their belly is hanging out) and the guy's their age don't seem to mind as much as in our day because I see these heavier girls with guys all of the time.
Ben, you're just are stuck with your generation's ideas about older women being useless. Really, the younger guys these days don't have the same stereotypes. When you were their age you probably weren't the least bit interested in older women. These guys are and the one's I've been with tend to date older women regularly. Maybe its a different demographic where you are but in the major east coast cities, this stuff is quite common these days due to women's financial independence and holding off on having kids.
Oh, and for the record, I'm the one that stops the relationship more often than they do.