Letters to the Editor
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Sounds like...
More of that "he's just not that into you" kind of thinking here. Wanting children might be coded man-language for just that sort of thing, at least for the single, over 40 audience...course, I wouldn't know, being one the lucky married ones.
The LW seems intent on just working the over 40 males group, which doesn't seem to be working out right now. Interesting that some folks think the LW might be batty in some way...I'm firmly convinced that the reason some people get married or have committed relationships while others don't revolves around just how much emphasis they put on their own lives over others.
For example, we know someone that is in this precise age range who hasn't had a stable relationship with anything but her pets for years...and it's understandable to outsiders why that's the case, because she has (or used to have) a dog that practically attacked any males with 10 feet of her. Well, if you are trying to get to know somebody, it's kinda hard to have a conversation when their dog wants to run the f'ing show by barking and nipping at their guest. Then she has the never to ask why she can't keep a man around...
Frankly, the LW has made clear that she can get along in life without men...so it should be no surprise that men are clued into that fact. And if they are made to feel like that, then it should be painfully obvious as to why they are ducking out of the relationship. And this isn't just a male/female thing, 40 year old men can be just as guilty of this too.
So, I have no advice for said LW, except to be more honest and critical about your own behavior and demeanor around the opposite sex while on a date. Better still, ask a MARRIED couple to double date with you, then have them watch you interact with you date...maybe there's something they can see that you don't.