Maybe you should have lit a few matches.

See above ^^^

Substitute we for you, cross out have, and change lit to light.

Metaphorically speaking of course.

Don't make us do grammatical musical chairs at this hour, please. Let's just say it: Maybe we should light a few matches.

Or, alternatively, maybe we should stay home and stop flying on airplanes.

I haven't a clue why you acted as you did, but I can tell you that even though I consider myself an assertive person, there are times when I don't speak up in situations I probably should. Those are the situations I over-analyze for the next few days wondering why I was such a coward.

Here are some reasons why I might not speak up in your situation.

1. I was raised not mention bodily functions in polite company.

2. I would have sat there assuming that the guy was only going to fart once, no twice, and by the time, I figured it wasn't going to stop, I would feel like an idiot bringing it up. If it bothered me so much, why didn't I say something to begin with? Many people pass gas once and then that seems to be the end of it. Once is usually forgivable.

3. Like Cary said, you never know the mental state of strangers or how they're going to react on having their lack of manners called attention to.

Anyway, you should have fun reading the responses.

Being repeatedly farted on would absolutely bring out my inner bitch. This man would most certainly learn that he shares the planet with me.

I was on an elevator by myself. A young guy in a business suit got on and then "ripped" one out and laughed. I looked at him and just said one word, "nice".

He smirked but looked a little shocked that I had said anything.

I got my revenge at the next floor when a large group of men were about to get on until they stopped when they got a hint of the smell and looked at both of us. I just looked back at them and pointed at the guilty guy and said "Don't look at me". The farter finally had the decency to blush at this point.

I admit it was easier for me to do this as I wasn't making a scene. In an airplane, I don't know that I would have been so bold, but I might have tapped him to let him know he was invading my space by leaning into my area. Most of us are too nice and find it hard to tell someone they stink or are obnoxious...especially if others might overhear.

Just thank the Goddess you're not married to him...and find a way to "accidentally" spill something on him at the first opportunity...or engage in a loud conversation with your seatmate about who it was who let one rip...perhaps using theopening line "now you know why they call them 'old farts'."

1718 words (I counted twice just to be sure) on how to react to a guy farting in your face?

It can be dealt with in 4 words: "Hey Asshole! Clench it!"

Very funny letter, by the way. Keep it up.

Rather than point out the obvious underlying sentiments in your treatise, I merely wish to thank you, Cary, for letting rip the call to action! It is high time that the grumblings of the collective gastrointestinal tract be assuaged by a bit of social bean-o. The barking spider must be silenced!

You probably said nothing because you were quite reasonable afraid on some level that saying something would result in even more unpleasantness. Even if the man had not been farting, simply parking his butt in your face was extremely rude. If you had politely said, please move your bottom away from my face, you had even odds at receiving an embarrassed apology or having his bottom placed even closer.

Several months ago my husband and I were having dinner at a nice restaurant. A couple of people from the very large table next to us, got up to chat and situated themselves next to us with their bottoms inches from our faces. My husband and I stared at them aghast, wondering how they could be so oblivious and hoping they would quickly depart. Instead one of them actually sat the edge of his butt on our table! My husband asked them to move away and instead of apologizing a fist fight nearly ensued because they felt it was their right to lean into our table and continue their conversation.

Sadly it has been my experience that the kind of people who show complete disregard for others generally react belligerently when others attempt to assert themselves, turning themselves into the victims.

The reason I ask is not that long ago a woman was arrested when an airplane landed because she had been lighting matches. Apparently she had a bad case of gas and was embarrassed.

You can't spend the whole flight in the bathroom if you have gas. People will get mad at you. I felt rather sorry for that woman.

Also, older people get gas. Apparently some of them get gas so often that they say things out loud like "Eggs don't like me."

Did Benjamin Franklin really write an essay about farting?

Geez, are we really going to talk about farting?

I have sign Anonymous because I just can't talk about farting in public.

Perhaps, just perhaps, you might consider that the person is horrified at his inability to either prevent the gas or stop the farting that results. Clenching doesn't always work.

I will take your word for it, colleagues, that people do this on purpose. I know people who have been stricken with this condition. I say stricken to reflect the horror they felt when they were with anyone during a crisis. Even the most meticulous diet and and best medication may not be enough.

Yeah, I guess you all can continue with the indignation and anger and rage. But it seems like a lot of energy and stress over something that doesn't matter. Keep a handkerchief with a pleasant aroma oil on it in your pocket and use it when trapped. When you pull it out, pull out a little benefit of the doubt, human kindness and compassion for the lifetime of embarrassment of this silent, humiliated person.