Letters to the Editor
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Good Writing Does Not Make For a Hot Ex
The ex is playful, articulate, brilliant. And although I understand why their relationship failed, feel my girlfriend's love for me, and see why ultimately we are much better for each other than they ever were, for the first time in my life, I've started to feel mediocre, safe, boring. I fear that I do not possess the qualities that made my girlfriend so happy in the past.
Dude, that is how he appears in print. It's easy to play the role of troubled genius when writing about the past, to cultivate a badass personality with mere words in a blog, but far harder to carry it off in reality and present tense.
You don't know how this guy is in the flesh, or even how much effort he puts into maintaining his facade. Here you are intimidated by someone who may just be an everyday asshole with good writing style.
Anyone who has dated online can tell you strong writing is a poor indicator of an attractive reality. Even a hot photo can deceive. Many times the level of charisma on a blog is the opposite of reality.
It seems to me the hangups about the ex are actually a reflection of being uncertain about your own standing with her. It may be this is a way to justify general insecurity, or an excuse if things don't work. You may be interpreting her past as a dirty secret as a way to gain an upper hand in your mind. You need to deal with these feelings before the "bad omen" becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.