Letters to the Editor
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Why we look:
two reasons.
1.) to intently study a form, so we can reach a resonably concluded fantasy of what it would be like to have sex with that particular female.
2.) to let our female know that they're still with a living breathing mammal, not a trained man-puppy in pastel. We're dangerous. We hope that the wheels in her brain are spinning and saying, "I better be good to him, or one of these other gorgeous females may be." Men will never admit to this one (this post notwithstanding).
Nevertheless, when I have girlfriends I don't look at others. It's horribly gauche. And it may diminish your chances of having sex with women early in the dating process (I'm not willing to find out).
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Brooklyn Hoosier:
Actually, it's working out GREAT!
Since Dr. Mengele's visa was approved, we've had two shifts going 7 days a weeks at Male Reprogramming Labs.
We unleash 2,000 Sensitive New Age Guys into the population daily since we worked out the kinks with the parts we imported from China.
Thanks for the god wishes,
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Brooklyn Hoosier:
Actually, it's working out GREAT!
Since Dr. Mengele's visa was approved, we've had two shifts going 7 days a week at American Male Reprogramming Labs.
We unleash 2,000 Sensitive New Age Guys into the population daily since we worked out the kinks with the parts we imported from China.
Thanks for the good wishes,
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God forbid anyone should look at anyone but you.
well, obviously no one said that.
I said, don't oogle. Don't drool. Don't turn your head, don't widen your eyes, don't let your eyes pop out while the horns blare like in the cartoons. Don't be obvious, don't be disrespectful.
Sure, look. We girls look too, but subtly. But we make sure while we're in public everyone knows who is our man and that we respect him.
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Ah, Ben...
You goofy, delusional, repetitive little man.
I hope you have a lovely day filled with nice women.
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Are you guys really not differentiating..
...between a perfectly normal glance at an attractive human being and some sort of absurd tongue-hanging-out sweating panting patting the foot like a dog behavior, like some sort of kabuki "mie" pose to indicate "horny male attracted to hot female"?
A look is a look. Not all looks are insulting to the person being looked at, and not all looks are insulting to the partners of the people doing the looking. Really.
You know rudeness when you see it. If he's being rude, then he's probably creeping out other women. If so, you should probably break up with him, not just because he's rude, but because he has no ability to read a room. He'll be an embarrassment in many ways.
If he's just looking, think about why it bothers you so much. Honestly, the women being looked at shouldn't even notice that he's looking. He shouldn't be seeking eye contact, or lingering on them so long it grosses them out. His looking should not be noticeable in the great sea of lookers. His looking should be no different than the way guys look at you. Step back and try to figure out if the behavior is remarkable in any way. If it's not, then why does it bother you when he looks, but not when a guy looks at you in the exact same way?
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sorry about the double posting...
It seems like it actually published instead of previewed, then published again when I edited it.
gezelligtexas, is that what happened to you to?
weird.
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Emily
No, I noticed I misspelled your name in the subject line and tried to correct it right after I hit the "publish" button. I corrected it, hit "publish" again, and hoped it didn't post twice.
Whoops.
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My man stares
When I catch him at it, I start staring at men. I very consciously size them up, asking myself to answer 3 questions about each guy I look at: would I do him? how big is his dick, probably? what does he look like naked?
Answering these questions ensures my gaze has the duration and intensity I so object to when my boyfriend does it.
Sometimes, though, I just follow my boyfriend's gaze, stop in my tracks and say "Who is that? Do you know her? Oh, I thought you must know her." After 2 or 3 of these, he gets the message. Sometimes he gets all huffy, all "it doesn't hurt to look!" I say no, of course it doesn't, and I'm NOT hurt. I can see for myself how much more fun it is to look at hot young guys than just have to stare that you all day. Let's call a truce - we both look all we want, no criticism about it at all."
Funny thing is, he hates it when I look at other guys, or other guys look at me. That's not part of the deal, see. He really believes he is engaging in an uncontrollable biological behavior while I'm just 'doing it to hurt him and get even'. It's so lame, how can you not laugh?
LW - just follow his gaze and say "wow, I can see the appeal." then immediately scan the vicinity and say "what do you think o that guy over there? I mean, I haven't seen biceps like those since Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise!"
Sure, guys look, and it may even be automatic. They also have big, fragile egos that get just as automatically wounded. There's your weapon.
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Yeah, he's ignoring the throngs of supermodels constantly throwing themselves at him
in order to write to the fugly women and gay men on Salon. It's all about priorities, people.
Seriously, Emily, and everyone, why even bother? Here's someone who yammers on about his code of honor, yada yada, which apparently allows for resume padding with fake MBAs from Yale and Princeton. 'Cuz guys are always straight with each other, right?
Waste. Of. Time. Predictable, inane responses. And he's getting even more boring (could it be possible?), as if the aging fratboy himself isn't even enjoying it as much as he used to.
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It is also terribly rude
if you are training people to actually let them know it.
Since I am a stuffy and old-fashioned sort, I believe in pretense. It has probably saved the human race. Unbeknowst to us, there was no doubt a time when Adam and Eve (or whoever) decided a certain obstensible truce was in order if they were to go on living together. This is probably when the first training of humans began. For the purposes of procreation and civilization, this is a good thing and not a bad thing. However, since people don't like to believe that they can ever be manipulated, it is best not to make like a rooster and crow.
I understand that there is a complete martial art that emulates the poses of animals. I think this is a wonderful thing. As humans, we can emulate the good qualities of animals and avoid the bad ones.
To be blunt: Why does a bear shit in the woods?
Because he didn't have the intelligence to invent the flush toilet.