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Monday, July 23, 2007 12:00 AM

My boyfriend is checking out chicks while I'm standing right there!

It bugs me that he does this, but I don't want to make a big fuss.

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  • Sunday, July 22, 2007 07:01 PM

    I had the exact same problem!

    At first I tried to be humorous about it. He seems to need to get a reaction from the women he's ogling - he never looks away until they 've exchanged smiles.

    "Shall I leave you two alone?" I'd ask when I caught him gazing. Interestingly, he was unable to have a sense of humor about it - he was always defensive or denying. I suppose he felt I was judging him, or about to get pissed.

    I tried the 'if you can't lick 'em, join 'em' strategy, but since straight men do not generally groom themselves for The Gaze, pickings can be slim.

    I finally solved the problem by refusing to notice what my boyfriend is noticing when we're out and about. Instead, I focus on who is noticing me. I catch the glances coming my way and smile back and the guys who smile at me. If BF notices, he generally gets grumpy but says nothing...but it seems to hae a chilling effect on his wandering eye. If he doesn't notice, who cares, I'm having fun with a behavior I am proving to myself is harmless, which makes me less obsessive about him when HE does it.

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