Letters to the Editor
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jealousy
We all look, and from what I have seen, jealousy is common. It lies at the root of countless misunderstandings and unnecessary arguments. It sets women up against one another in a competetive atmosphere which is almost comical! That is, if we are just talking about looking and gazing. Everyone looks! If you are alive it is healthy to do this.
If I am a man and Cindy Crawford is in the room, I will look at her. Probably I will stare and attempt clever conversation. If I am a woman and David Beckham is in the room, I will stare and most likely flirt in whatever way the situation allows. Tell me this is not true and put whoever you think is hot into the space where these celebrity names exist. If you are my partner and you get upset or angry when I do this, it is your problem. Heck, give your partner a hall pass if that ever happens. I have been in a room with Cindy and I can tell you, woman, man, other, you just look. Sometimes beauty is intoxicating.
Beauty is so temporary anyway. If you really love this guy, have some fun with this, don't get so heavy on this one topic. Cary is right on here, it could even be fodder for your fantasies. Unless he is extreme, which is just embarrassing and tactless, then you've got to let it go. We stare at guys and chicks! We are like monkeys!
Jealousy will only cripple your relationship and it can take on a life of it's own. I was on a date with my husband and was accosted by a woman who thought I was "after her husband". She must have been watching and mistook friendly for something else, because she attacked. Screaming a few inches from my face that I should leave immediately. I'd only asked him the name of the band playing that night and we talked briefly about the city transporation maybe, so my husband and I were dumbfounded.
I am not sure why she thought a conversation with her grizzled hubby was so appealing to me that I'd go after him, but one thing was clear, it was all in her head. Which brings me to this: It's not all in your head, but what your BF is doing is harmless. Unless there is a betrayal or cheating, you don't need to check in on who he is looking at or even who he is talking to. Maybe I am being naive, but consider the alternative.
Jealousy springs up everywhere when people are driven mad by what they thought they saw: a glance exchanged, words that provoked, a longing gaze. Lingering eyes moving up and down on someone else's body. It's alright... he loves you honey. His hands are on you, not on the stranger wandering nearby and you can relax.
Try any way you can to feel solid enough, confident enough with yourself so that this won't bother you anymore. While you watch him checking people out you are thinking like the crazy lady. Be yourself. Be in love, be passionate and be into him but please, please don't be the crazy lady!