Letters to the Editor
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the great divide
I've always hit on by older men, but around the time I turned 30 suddenly only 'boys' in their 20s were asking me out. It was weird. I remember joking that they were looking for Mrs. Robinson. It only made me feel even older than I already did.
There's more to relationships than age compatibility, and people vary in what they're comfortable with. I'm with AKA Smith on the importance of a shared frame of reference. If I were still single, my informal rule might go something like this: if I can remember where I was and what I was doing while you were busy being born, then you're too young for me. Oh -- and vice-versa.
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typo
I've always *been* hit on by older men, ....etc
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If
you obsess over who other people are fucking (as long as they are willing & of legal age), you've got some serious problems, friends.
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What's with all the rage against older women daring to express attraction to younger men (and assert believe in their own attractiveness?)
What, exactly, is the thrill in trying to shame/humiliate a woman merely for her age, and belief that it doesn't render her unattractive?
"Old" is contextual. A 35-year-old is not 'old' in the context of normal life span. But a 35-year-old is certainly 'older' if not 'old' to a person half his/her age. I vividly remember being 24 and the 30-something guys at my workplace seemed so pathetic, trying to act hip to my music tastes, them in their khakis and their minivans and wives and kids. They were just *uncool* to me -- not because they were, in fact, uncool, but because they had nothing to offer me except their own desperation. They weren't attracted to ME, the person, just me, the age. I knew that even then. In point of fact they were probably more cool than me, I just had the arrogance of youth. No one was 'wrong' it's just the way it is.)
There is no reason in the world to suspect the LW's stepson doesn't find her attractive. 35 is much older than 17 but not in terms of secondary sexual characterisitcs, duh. Guys who are 17 aren't in to the nitty gritty of laugh lines and uneven skin tone. A nice rack, shapely legs an a flat abdomen connote youth and sexuality to them, they are turned on, end of story.
I have no trouble believing that Catherine Zeta Jones can get it up for that pathetic, gross old fart Michael Douglas because she values what he is offering - wealth, status, security, power. I doubt it's the greatest sex of her life but if she's not very passionate/sexual to begin with (and many women aren't) she's not making that much of a sacrifice.
I'm in my 40s and I've had lovers 20 years younger, and 10 years older. The younger guys generally (but not always!) have better bodies but are less engaging intellectually. I make the trade-off for awhile and then stop. I'm sure they are making a trade-off too - I'm smart and sexy and beautiful but undoubtedly older than the 20-somethings they also see. Big deal. Attractiveness is not only defined by age. Why do people have such a hard time accepting that?
As for Mrs. Robinson - she and Ben had a consensual adult affair. She was predatory, but certainly not comparable in any way shape or form to Humbert Humbert, a dyed-in-the-wool pedophile unashamedly planning and executing illegal and wholly immoral acts on an underaged victim.
The fact that both were unlikable people does not make them, necessarily, alike.
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Age is just a number and other fictions
This thread has become so tangental to the true matter at hand (creepy perv step mom wants to fvck son) that it cries out for healthy dose of unadulterated common sense.
I really hate to be the bearer of obvious tidings; but, that hot, barely legal stud you just thought was "coming on to you" at abercrombie and fitch is very likely thinking one thing...you're old.
Allusions to movie stars, Mary Kay Letourneau, Mrs. Robinson or unverified "personal experience" notwithstanding, age is a brutally large component of physical attraction.
Sorry.
Take a few breathes, accept it and move on like the rest of us adults.
Such obvious statements should not be needed and are not meant as an attack on old women's (or men's) sexuality; it's simply far fewer men are so delusional as to think the local hot young things are really after daddy (and not his money). They realize how idiotic and creepy that is and take it at face value.
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Jason
You don't have to go out with "old" women. We will leave you alone. We promise. Take a few deep breaths now. Feel better?
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Older men
"it's simply far fewer men are so delusional as to think the local hot young things are really after daddy (and not his money). They realize how idiotic and creepy that is and take it at face value."
Are you sure? Because I'm not. I have been amazed at the ego of many, many older men who are not only bald and paunchy, but drab, stuffy, and boring, with few interests beyond flying remote control model airplanes. I really think they think they are hot! Don't get me wrong--I don't think women my age (cough) are hot enough to pull much younger men either...but I think the older men are just as delusional, if not more.
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Oh, as a whole
older men, based on my observation, are totally more delusional than older women--whether they have money or not.
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"There's no fool...
...like an old fool."
And please notice that famous saying is non-gender specific.
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It is funny to see you
always acting as the spokesman for "all men." A lot of men have women friends. It's ridiculous to suggest otherwise. Your other "points" are so beyond ridiculous (male code of honor, etc etc), but thanks for the laugh, though. Remember, just because you self-select for friends who are emotionally stunted, aging frat boys in crappy marriages, or hate women and never married, blah blah, doesn't mean it's all like that. You will never admit that there are plenty of men happy in their relationships with women. I feel sorry for you.
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bendover
<<Anyone can talk out of their ass>>
Once again, no need to exert yourself so much to prove the obvious.