Letters to the Editor
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some of the trolls here
Decided that they speak for all boys and men out there. Um, whatever. Have fun being wrong and venting your general bitterness about women--that's what salon letters is here for, right?
Anyway a friend of mine, either when he was in high school or right after, had a huge amount of fun servicing the bored housewives in his neighborhood.
There will always be stupid girls who will go out with a guy for his money (what an ego-boost for the man that must be, eh!) but believe me, there are lots of beautiful young women out there who would find that prospect completely disgusting and demoralizing, and not do it.
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But there *is* something very wrong with sex between older teens and their *parents*
...as well as assorted other parental figures -- such as their teachers, coaches, music instructors, guidance counselors, therapists, doctors, etc.
That's the issue here, not a 'priggish' bigotry.
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No Big Deal...
I am a 30 year old bachelor, and I've noticed a lot of women in my "dating range" are looking at younger men. They usually justify their behavior by pointing to the "enthusiasm" of young men; however, a lot of these same women I have talked to later complain about the "immature stalker" they've created, which provides me with endless amusement. Setting aside the family issues and the obvious insanity of crossing that line, do you really want a teenager following you around, calling your cell phone ten times a day, serenading you while you're sleeping and generally becoming a nuisance? My advice would be to get your hubby some viagra.
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The kid is probably turned on, too
The advice of not letting the match hit this dynamite is correct, but all the more because Tennis is wrong is supposing the kid is not as turned on as his stepmom. Has he never heard of MILFs? "Mothers I'd Like to F***"? Who do you think invented that phrase, mothers? No, dude, it was horny young studs like this "tall, dark and handsome" kid for whom Mrs. Robinson is one of the classic hotties of all time. Authority figure, role model, baloney. Hormones say, "BABE ALERT; PREPARE FOR SEX; SCHWIINNGGG!"
The dangerous thing here is that, since they have been a family since the kid was nine, there may be incestuous overtones, at least for him. There are psychological operators, I think genetic, which tend to make otherwise attractive persons in close proximity to one during early formative years sexually taboo. The classic study showed that people raised in the same Israeli kibbutz, sleeping every night in the same dormitory, never married, ever. Psychologically they had become siblings. That may be a factor here, in which case if the kid is attracted, it's especially hairy. If not, if he was past that influence by age nine, then it's just a standard mess.
I think the lady needs to work out an understanding with her husband to see other men, or get some really good sex toys, or, if it will ice the stepson issue, cheat. She's obviously alive sexually and deserves to have that part of her humanity acknowledged. If her husband can't give her her propers, she should quietly insist on some other arrangement. Just one that doesn't include the kid.
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This wasn't (merely) about age.
The LW would be wrong to act on her feelings (lust) even if her stepson was 27 and she was 45. Both would be of legal age with the same age difference. However, she would still be married and he would still be her stepson. Such an action would still be a betrayal both of her husband and the relationship that her stepson has with his father. The only difference is that the stepson would then be a more culpable part of that betrayal rather than a youngster manipulated into it.
As to age difference, there is really no end to the excuses that adults may use for having sex with teenagers. The LW uses one herself when she says that the stepson looked older than his actual age. Other than a sort of "explanation" for her attraction, it says nothing really about his emotional maturity or his willingness to have sex. We may be responsive to (evolutionary) signs of physical and sexual maturity but that says little about a teen's own individual readiness for a mature sexual relationship. Our culture is one in which we encourage teens to delay reproduction for the purpose of furthering education and the potential for larger lifetime earning power. This is what works here. It may be different in other countries and other cultures.
As a mother, I discouraged my teenaged daughter from dating guys who were much older than she was. I had seen too many bad results from such pairings. In retrospect, I wish I had been even more strict. Why? Because I believe she became the object of too much manipulation at an age when she was too young to be equal to it.
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Mrs. Robinson
I think people need to go back and re-watch that movie. Mrs. Robinson was a pretty horrible, wretched character.
"As a mother, I discouraged my teenaged daughter from dating guys who were much older than she was. I had seen too many bad results from such pairings. In retrospect, I wish I had been even more strict. Why? Because I believe she became the object of too much manipulation at an age when she was too young to be equal to it."
Perfect.
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So what liberals have taught us today
is that if a man dates a younger woman--even if she is legally an adult and is doing it of her own free will--he is a sick pervert who should be labeled a sex offender for life.
But if a woman screws a younger man--whatever the age--it is empowering to all women for her to do so.
As I said earlier, good things liberals don't hate men---I would hate to see the laws they would try to pass if THAT were the case.
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No one said that (really)
Okay, so the 80 year old guy with 20 year old arm candy is not a pervert...are you happy?
It is gross and creepy, however. The point someone else was making was that it didn't matter how much $$ he had, it's still disgusting. In fact, if I recall correctly that person was saying it wasn't LESS disgusting than a decrepit "older" woman with a 22-year-old guy. (Meaning the woman is probably...35? 40?)
But continue to read only what you want to read into it. You're obviously mad at women in general over something.
Don't you love these salon conversations that end up veering off entirely on a different subject--usually a rant? I blame the matriarchy.