Letters to the Editor
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Acting on it isn't the only worry
Of course LW shouldn't act on these feelings. But part of her problem is that she's cultivating the fantasy. She's already playing out in her head scenarios in which her stepson makes a move (which is never going to happen) and all the nuances of the conversation that might ensue. She is crafting very specific and developed fantasies, which only deepen the feelings and make them seem more urgent. Sure, we can't help wanting unavailable people. But the discipline is not to foment the longing. This isn't harmless, people could get hurt. She needs to reorient her thinking (closes her eyes and thinks about him and night? this has got to change). The fantasies themselves are betrayals of both her relationship with her stepson (to whom she's been a mother figure since age 9!) and to her husband.