Letters to the Editor
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You get the chance
Dear LW,
I've lost people. I've lost people I didn't have the opportunity to say goodbye to and your letter made me very upset.
Many people are pissed about their upbringing, c'mon, that is not what this is about! We all "escaped" something, someone! This is it, you don't get to do this again. Unless (or even because) you were beaten or molested or otherwise violated in some unspeakable way by that woman, you should contact her soon. It doesn't sound like she was bad to you anyway. People do terrible things to each other, don't join them. Pretend if you must. You will always regret your decision not to call, not to reach out at least.
About a funeral: that has nothing to do with you in the bigger picture, lay down your armor if you are able.
Just for a moment, you put yourself in her place. Can you do this? Feel her pain somehow, even for a few seconds. You are about to die and you want to feel loved, your wish is to be surrounded or at least in contact with people who mean something to you.
Very upsetting to read about how much you don't feel. Your righteousness. You poor thing!