Letters to the Editor
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Older and Wiser: "the stuff you got wasn't usually dangerous"
implying that pot is now dangerous? where do you get this?
in my own humble experience, alcohol is MUCH more dangerous than pot.
listen - i agree that this mom has a PROBLEM with pot. but the problem is the behavior, not the substance.
again - just to emphasize - if you're going to compare substances, alcohol is much more dangerous.
i love how people who want marijuana legalized are "potheads" - (this is to you Anonymous at 9:59). BY THIS LOGIC, ANYONE WHO DOES NOT WANT ALCOHOL POSSESSION CRIMINALIZED IS A "BOOZEHEAD".
-Anonymouse 1
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from anonymous at 9:59
re: i love how people who want marijuana legalized are "potheads" - (this is to you Anonymous at 9:59).
I don't consider anyone who wants marijuana legalized to be a pothead. In fact, I support the legalization of pot. I consider anyone who smokes pot regularly (daily or several times a week) to be a pothead, just as I consider anyone who smokes crack daily to be a crackhead, regardless of their political stance on the legalization of crack.
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A question of degree
I'm finding it difficult to discern the degree to which mom is addicted and truly hurting her family with the pot. The real question is how present she really is, and what she would be like if she had constant back pain (which can EASILY lead to debilitating depression and really make her a miserable parent to be around). I have several friends with avid pot smoking, hippie parents. All of these friends are well-adjusted, successful adults with great relationships with their parents.
The LW sounds to be a bit of a prude, and maybe a bit judgmental of her friend, which makes me doubt whether mom is truly spending her days in a purple haze. "Self-medicating" with a legal drug (whatever that means? it means she is taking a relatively safe, legally sanctioned drug for her pain) in her back yard, or even with a pipe should not be a problem. The lies and secrecy could mean she isn't dealing well with establishing authority over son - not necessarily that she is an addict. If she is able to fulfill her parental obligations in every other sphere, there is no reason that her husband, son and best friend should all gang up on her at once, as it only undermines the little authority mom already has on a teenager ripe for power struggles. However, if looking at this honestly seems to imply she is unable to get out of bed to talk to her son, that she frequently forgets to keep up her end of the marital bargain, etc., she needs a support group and a therapist to help her get well - not criticism.
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Bla bla
I think Cary and the LW have forgotten how annoyingly moralistic younger teenagers can be. When I was 12-15 I thought all drugs were terrible and would lead you into a life of misery, and that's not suprising, considering the DARE programs, 'Just Say No' etc, that only give very cut and dry viewpoints on various substances. I recently watched "Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue", this weird cartoon that Bush Sr comissioned in the early 90s, which I watched as a child. It's about this kid who finds pot under her brothers bed and someone gets a bunch of cartoon characters (Alf, Garfield, Ninja Turtles etc) to teach him a lesson. It's hilarious, but ridiculously inaccurate - at one point they show the kid what he "really looks like", and he's this hideous green zombie thing, all thanks to a little bit of pot (which him and his friends seem comfortable smoking in the middle of a crowded arcade)!
Anyway, now I'm 23 and smoke regularly, mostly because I have sleep problems and would rather not take sleeping pill. I suspect this kid will get over it, I mean come on, his mother's in pain! If he can't accept it for medical reasons, he's obviously a bit of a selfish jerk. If I was her, I'd just get much more careful about hiding it.
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What part of chronic pain do people not get?
so mom is supposed to a: suffer to "prove" her love or b: become addicted to pain killers because they are "legal"?
If this poor little darling was demanding his mom stop taking prescribed painkillers would you be so sympathetic? From what the LW wrote mom has been medically approved for pot use. LW mentioned that Mom followed the Grateful Dead for a while maybe junior has a problem with that, but other wise this kid is a spoiled demanding and possibly sadistic brat who is trying to manipulate the authority figures around him.
Also why the perpetration of the myth that any who smokes pot ever is a 24/7 pot head? That is not true any more then someone who drinks is an alcoholic.
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Oh and
"He didn't mention how annoying people are when they're stoned, which is a whole other issue. Let me tell you, you potheads are incredibly annoying when you're stoned. You can't follow a simple conversation. You forget to lock the door, or turn off the gas on the stove. You say "dude" a lot. You move slowly."
This tends to decrease once you've been smoking for a while. I'm sure the mother will be much more fun to be around once she's out of it on LEGAL painkillers all the time.
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Talk to your kids about D.A.R.E.
At the time my kids were subjected to the D.A.R.E. program, I was having a very occasional drink--only when we went to one particular restaurant that has these amazing Bloody Mary's. My husband has never had a drink because he's always been fearful after watching his own alcoholic father almost die--at the point his mother brought his father to the hospital, she threw out all the liquor in their house and she never had another drink until after he died many decades later, just to support his quitting for good. My own parents were alcoholics, so I've been pretty clear about the potential dangers of alcohol too. Neither of us have ever smoked cigarettes. My husband tried pot a couple of times in college but didn't see the point. Both of us are completely in favor of marijuana's legalization.
We talked about all these issues with our kids throughout the D.A.R.E. program. They could contrast their grandmothers--my husband's engaged, happy mother and my own bitter, psychotic (literally), alcoholic mother and come to the conclusion that drinking is BAD. But we talked about how the non-alcoholic grandmother has wine sometimes now and how my mother's problems are a lot more complex than mere alcoholism, how we know people who use marijuana for health reasons or for fun who don't get addicted or turn into potheads...we were pretty open in discussing all of this.
The trick is that they time the D.A.R.E. program for when kids are starting to be most critical of their own parents and most hungry for new adult role models, so even in a strong, happy family it's easy for the kids to take Officer X's word and horrifying stories more seriously than the parents' word. In my opinion, the D.A.R.E. program seriously erodes family values more than anything the public schools offer. But where is the Christian right when you need them?