Letters to the Editor
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Bigger fish to fry than some idiot teenager ...
domini wrote: " POT is not the illegal substance for back pain- that would be an opiate."
Sorry to disappoint you, but cannabis is indeed an analgesic, in addition to the other helpful qualities you mentioned. True, it's not as strong a painkiller as the opioids but it works well against peripheral neuropathy (a common consequence of diabetes) and is moderately effective in several types of "lower back" pain, notably spondylolisthesis.
Further: "Jim Crow violated the constitution, led to lynching, and violated a definable group's civil rights based solely on a characteristic one has no control over. People CHOOSE to smoke pot." Oppression and unjust laws are egregious not only when based on immutable characteristics such as skin color. Frequently, the victims of oppression are political, such as the communist witch hunt during the 50's with the McCarthy hearings, and the persecution and imprisonment of anti-war speakers during World War I. The current jihad on cannabis users is similar to those excesses that were eventually abandoned (for the time being.)
Curiously, the initial purpose of the cannabis prohibition was to target immigrant Mexican laborers who had become redundant in the shrinking economy at the time. Cannabis was vilified and banned by tapping into two prominent American cultural live wires: contempt for ethnic groups considered "lesser" (i.e. darker skin,) and a wide streak of "morality" (like the broad stripe that runs down a skunk's back.) Although both Prohibition and Repeal had required constitutional amendments, cannabis was outlawed through a series of sleight-of-law maneuvers starting with the Marijuana Tax Act. Another function of cannabis prohibition was to provide a haven for Prohibition warriors who had been put out of business by Repeal. How cannabis came to be outlawed is an interesting story and I recommend the Schaffer Library of Drug Policy. It has lots of information on drug policy and related subjects.
"Stoners are boring, selfish, inane, and irresponsible." Some nuance, please. There are "stoners" (i.e. cannabis smokers) in all walks of life, including circles where you likely would not be welcome. Some famous "stoners:" Carl Sagan, Kary Mullis, Louis Armstrong, etc, etc, etc.
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Yes what about the boy
It would seem at 15 he already is using some "emotional tools" tools like threats, manipulation, divide and conquer and he's getting help in this endeavor from his Dad. As one poster who claimed to be the original LW said Mom and Dad are not on the same page. When Mom did not immediately "comply" he ran to Dad who told Mom to leave for a few days, gee just what message does that send?
Two questions no one at least that I have seen here has asked:
1 are there some other disciplinary actions involved , was he told to buckle down on his homework? denied some privilege?
2 Is this kid smoking pot himself? While everyone seems to think he's a young vigilante, is it possible that he is using himself or got caught using and told NO?
What ever the reasons the parents should have been honest with him long ago, that may have averted all the problems now.
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Earth calling ...
Laurel962 wrote: "The individuals [I] have observed who are long-time marijuana users ... are often sort of sadly detached from their lives, and often stuck in very passive situations, where the MJ helps them avoid change or growth."
Well, how often, or are you just making this up? How many have you "observed," or are they your friends who don't know they're being "observed?" It would be churlish to pick apart your nonsense, but I feel some attention is in order. Is it not okay to avoid change when things are going well? You make it seem pathological to want to avoid change, just on general principles. Real life forces changes soon enough, and there's no dodging those bullets. And "growth?" Presumably, one is "grown" when he or she conforms to your ideas of what constitutes growth. Such solipsism.
To judge by your post, you come loaded for bear. But nowhere does the LW say what bad things the mother *actually did* (the subtext here is that smoking pot is ipso facto bad.) The only, fleeting description we get is " ... along with rearing the boys and occasional stints of work ..." I would imagine rearing two boys a full-time occupation for a stay-at-home mom, especially where the boys "have been brought up with love and purpose." Exactly what harm did the mom do? That is never fully explained in the letter, leaving it to individuals like Laurel962 to jump to conclusions and trumpet their rectitude. So, I shouldn't drink Chianti with the spaghetti in the presence of my young child, for fear of corrupting his morals? I should not enjoy my after-dinner cognac with my son in attendance, but skulk around and take a nip out of the bottle in the closet when no one's looking? Is that what you want, Ms. Carrie Nation962? No raucous parties, no drunken revelries, but do it all furtively? "Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?"
You sound like a person who is on the mature side of young, to put it delicately. It's a pity that the only long-term cannabis users you have known do not measure up to your standard. Well, as they say, I am not responsible for the company you keep.
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yes, mom and dad are paying now for badly dealing with son's threat to go to the police 2 years ago.
I have two brothers who are very very different but who are both "control freaks" ... one apparently from birth, the other evolved ... they are both very difficult to be around and while very attractive, they have great difficulty maintaining relationships.
Both tend to rescue "waif" types, attempt pygmalion fashion to educate and cure them, only to have them leave, usually angrily, after a few years of being corrected, bullied, badgered and "fixed."
It may be too late for this young man but it's worth a try. I'm not sure what his primary objection to mom's pot smoking is -- but I'm suspecting that it's more about her failing to "keep her promise to stop" or some such.
This boy needs a remedial course in tolerance and impermanence and limits -- he will be a better person for it.
Alateen is a good idea.
I have to wonder if he is considered a "narc" by his peers -- or if he plans a career in law enforcement (guns, uniforms, oh my!) -- or -- quite likely he really really knows how to pull the family chain.
My mother was conflict averse to such an extreme I really didn't recognize how unhealthy it was until mid adulthood -- all that shying away, capitulating, giving in just to avoid another "silent treatment" or worse.
It's not about the mom.