Letters to the Editor
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Bust her
A 15 year old who has tried and tried to get his mother off of pot and has failed miserably because she is a lying, manipulative addict who refuses to deal with her problems has every right to get the authorities involved. In my book, that's exactly what he should do. Pity he was convinced not to call the cops when he first had the instinct to do that at the age of 11. His mother might have cleaned up her act by now. Cary's response is way to soft on this, I'm guessing because he's also a pot-head.
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a miss
Cary- I am bummed, really for the first time, about your response. You are right on only one point: that this is a symptom. What part of the letter made you think that the Mother abandoned her son? It is a back injury and pot is a painkiller that has been around a long time. It's not as if this is something new. You, a DARE supporter? I never imagined. Are you just afraid to lose your position if you offered a view that might be considered sympathetic to drug users?
Also, I am confused about the letter writer's angle. Are we to assume you are concerned for the 15 year old and that he may make good on his all or nothing threats? That the family will implode somehow because he is throwing down the gauntlet? You are one of her best girlfriends? Too bad for her. The only thing you should suggest is that she keep the pot away from the family and use greater discretion. It really isn't your business to judge what your friends use as medication. In a perfect world, your friend would not need it, unless she wanted to relax and have some fun once in a while, but it seems she does. Too bad it isn't a perfect world, that people have pain, make mistakes and are even anxious or uptight and need to relax.
Here's another suggestion- Why not make pot legal? For those seeking to pay off some US debt, imagine the tax windfall! People talking about jail time, you know the people the LW is asking about do NOT belong in jail. The Mom does need to be more discreet and could keep it away from her home. Since this is getting her family so upset, one can only hope she hides it entirely now. It, meaning the pot, is not the problem. The communication with the 15 year old, is a problem. The father's kid gloves and lack of involvement in this quarrel is a problem. Family therapy perhaps?
This letter has this polarizing debate in it's thread and I say that it doesn't have to be that way. The mother is an adult who can do what she likes in her own home. She just needs to modify her behavior a little so she doesn't end up like the Mom in Weeds( Showtime series)...joke there. Give her a break, it's not that bad! There are letter writers suggesting the son turn his own mother into the authorities? What purpose would this serve?
The "authorities" get a few free bags of bud and a family is ruined irreparably, financially, structurally, emotionally. F-ing zealots! YOU are the problem in the U.S. It is you, not pot, not someone's mom, you the judgemental, fingerpointing, tsk-tsk-ing, shaming self-righteous hypocrites. Take care of your own life. Period. Mind the gap, people.
To these zealots: I bet if we dissected your family life from the rear window, it would be quite revealing. Probably not that interesting, but revealing nonetheless.
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but then there's the back injury...
I too share a household with a "pothead." My spouse smokes a great deal of pot in order to deal with a spinal injury that has him in chronic severe pain. Pot is the second-largest line item on our budget after our mortgage. He is less "present" than either he or I wishes he were -- sleepier and less productive.
If he stopped smoking pot, he'd be taking enough vicodin or morphine or oxycontin to make him much less aware than he is on pot, and he'd be dealing with a lot more side effects.
Would this charming child prefer a mother buzzed out on opiates to his pothead mother? (If he had to wait to find her pipe in order to know that she's smoking, she's obviously functioning reasonably well.) Or would he rather have one in agony?
Has anybody explained to this lad that pain hurts, and that pot can help?
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Interesting stuff
This subject really pushes some buttons, doesn't it? Defend the kid and the pot smoker's brigade comes stampeding out of the woodwork to defend their habit. I have been around pot smokers (and alcoholics) and have walked away from both groups. I tired of seeing my funny, bright boyfriend turn into a glazed donut; I tired of seeing my father turn mean when he had his daily booze fix.
MacK made some good points; too bad Anonymous chose to disrespect our entire nation because he disagrees with an American poster. Go back to your bowl, Anonymous, it's callilng to you. Run now, go on.
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Anti Pot Hysteria
Obviously the child has been brainwashed by the DARE people who go into schools and, with winning personalities and bribes like backpacks and cool pens, convince kids that ANY use of alcohol or drugs constitutes abuse, which sets the stage for an ugly (and unnecessary) inter-generational conflict.
I do not know enough about this woman's usage pattern to be able to tell if she genuinely has a problem or not. She could be using it to cope with her back pain (although it has been my experience that pot tends to intensify feelings, pain as well as pleasure). I happen to believe that adults who are not posing a threat or danger to others have a right to choose what substances to put into their own systems---whether it be pot, morphine, gin or hershey bars. Would her son feel better if she ended up addicted to OxyContin or another powerful "legal" painkiller, rather than marijuana?
Don't give me all this touch feely stuff about "wanting our mommies back." For God's sakes, moms give enough of their lives and identities over to their children without letting the tykes dictate what they imbibe or ingest as well. You might just as well argue that a parent who felt the need to crack open a Bud or a Fudgsicle at the same time every afternoon was somehow deficient in love. At 15, I also think the son has a right to his own perspective on pot usage and yes, he does have the right to decamp if he cannot reconcile his feelings to Mom's usage and Mom is unable or unwilling to change. If he wants to choose another guardian for himself other than Mom, I think that is okay too.
I am simply unwilling to sign on to the kneejerk assertion that "Mom must give it up" or that any use of marijuana is sufficient to earn her the "pothead" designation. Of all the addictive substances available in our society, I would have to classify marijuana as one of the more benign.