Letters to the Editor
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She's known her friend for twenty years
That counts for a lot, I'll guess. And I'd be more on the side of those who think the kid's just being your standard adolescent pain-in-the-keister if not for the LW's closing statement, where she admits that from her perspective the pot-smoking friend could really stand to take a look at her own life.
I've been in chronic pain myself (herniated disk) and I can tell you it's a special kind of hell that people who haven't experienced chronic pain can only begin to imagine. I pray you never have chronic pain yourselves. But at the same time, it's BS if this person with chronic pain is self-medicating with pot as if that's the best, or even truly helpful, treatment. Somebody with chronic pain NEEDS to work with those who can help figure out a solid course of treatment -- you can't feel or think clearly when you're in constant pain -- and it sure doesn't seem like this person is getting that kind of help. Or seeking that kind of help.
If the LW thinks her friend is evasive in her behavior, and that this evasiveness is symbolic of not just her pot use but other things, she (the LW) may very well be on to something. As for the kid who wants to move out at 16 -- regardless of those who wanna jump on his self-righteous case, he'll be moving out in a few years regardless and if the mother really wants to have a solid relationship with her son, she'll need to deal with him, honestly and with some small amount of respect as well.
There are a lot of Salon posters who don't stay close to their own parents and I'm sure they have all sorts of very good reasons they moved the hell far away from their family as soon as they were able to.