Letters to the Editor
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Ugh - get them both out.
Do either of the LW's roommates even know the girl they subletted to, or is this girl a total stranger to all three roommates?
If there's absolutely no personal references for the subletting girl, I would definitely use the printed agreement, the landlord, and whatever local renting laws might be leveraged to getting these two OUT. The mom doing this stealth move-in with a daughter who's "sick" but somehow works and socializes just stinks of a con job.
CANCEL that weekend trip. These two could easily be thieves.
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Haven't we heard this one before?
She's called a helicopter parent.
The daughter is probably fine. She may have some minor problem, I wouldn't be surprised if it's allergies or asthma or something similarly very common and not particularly dangerous in most circumstances.
Mom doesn't want to let go. Daughter sort of likes having Mom around to do stuff, so she's not going to tell her to go away.
I would just be honest with them. If Daughter is that sick, she should be living at home. If she's not that sick, Mom doesn't need to be there. Tell them to decide.
Wouldn't surprise me if this girl is one of the types who has Mom take her to interviews, too. Kind of makes me a little ill. They're both going to need a kick in the ass to grow up, and you've just been nominated to provide it.
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Con Artist-Mother Analogy Beautiful but...
The entire cost of my Salon subsciption for the past five years was just repaid in full with Cary's analogy between mothers and con artists. Bravo! That is one for the Hall of Fame book you are writing, Cary.
To LW--I completely understand why you do not want the subleter's mother in your apartment--especially because she is hanging out there all day and her daughter appears to be otherwise healthy.
But, when you think about it, why does the fact that this woman arrived with her mother make her seem less trustworthy? Isn't opening up your residence to a total stranger for the summer relatively risky. What makes having the mother around more so.
I get that you find it annoying. Overly-emeshed mother-child relationships are one of my top pet peeves and a sign of personality dysfunction of those involved in them. But, that doesn't make them axe murderers. In fact, there was just an article about absurd mother-daughter relationships in the NYT.
Frankly, the ad hoc sublet contract,etc. seems too transparent.
Give the mother another four days, but politely make it clear that she is not welcome to stay beyond and that future visits must be declared in advance and extremely short. If she rebels at that, then lose the politeness.
Good luck.
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wow...
I guess I am a little odd but I would ask the question this way... How would I expect to be treated in the reverse situation? What would be appropriate?
Then balance that with the bottom line of your needs. What is this situation costing you? How specifically is it infringing on you using the shared space? Is it actually costing you more money?
The express both those chains of thought to the person. If they don't get it you have to consider the more confrontational advice being given.
My guess is they are two caught up in what ever they are struggling with to realize the inconvenience. Perhaps if you point it out gently you can come to some agreement.
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Don't Expect Mom to Go Anywhere
It certainly doesn't sound as the roommate is sick. What it sounds like is either an overprotective Mom who is determined to stay with her daughter or a situation in which the Mother needs a place to stay and had decided to live with her daughter. In either case, you can safely expect the Mother to remain as long as the daughter is there. In fact you may find it difficult to remove the pair once the sublease is over.
You are certainly with in your right to expect the Mother to leave, but since she may very well be the one paying the rent, and presumably you require the money, you may have little ability to remove her. A lot depends on whose name is on the lease, whether subletting is actual legal and what if any contract they signed. If they just had a verbal agreement with the roomate, you can probably get them thrown out. If the girl actually has a contract and it doesn't stripulate any limits on visitors than you are probably stuck with them. It also depends on whether the roomate is paying them who in turn is paying you or the landlord, or if you are collecting the money from them, or if they paid the whole thing up front.
I don't think you neccissarly have anything to fear from the Mom, just because she is determined to remain there. I guess if you are really want to get rid of them, you could be a really BAD ROOMATE. You know, blast your music, have loud parties all night long, creep the mom out, ect. . . Short of that you should probably view this as a learning experience and in the future have a clear thought out agreement on how to handle subleting in the future.
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Bait and switch
This is a classic bait and switch. Did the roommates ever meet this girl? If the girl is too sick to be without her mother, why isn't she recuperating at home?
The letter writer has every right to charge the mom a daily prorated rent, or to suggest that the roommate needs to recover elsewhere, where her mother's attendance is not an imposition. Perhaps the landlord could be enlisted to enforce some of the paperwork mentioned by Cary.
Absolutely, do not leave your house to strangers. I'm a pretty good mom in my sixth decade, but several times I have had to quash my curiosity and refrain from snooping. Even if they don't take anything, do you want to run the risk of an officious and idle stranger looking through your closets and reading your mail?
In the future, this is a team decision for all the co-renters. Any subletter should be interviewed in person. The one left behind to deal with the subletter should have equal say-so about who inhabits the house.
I really sympathize. This is a violation, perhaps a more subtle one than a burglary, but a violation of your peace and tranquillity in your own home nonetheless.