Letters to the Editor
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This happened to my brother!
The daughter brought her mom to live in the apartment. They slept in the same bed. Weird, weird people. They turned out to be a nightmare for him - he had to padlock his bedroom door as well. If you absolutely have to go out of town this weekend, put everything of value in your room and lock it up tight. That should send a clear message to them, and protect your possessions.
Definitely get them out, but do not go tossing their things onto the curb and change the locks. In certain states you can be arrested for an illegal lockout. Check with an attorney - go to this website and talk to your local bar association to find out the applicable laws:
http://www.abanet.org/legalservices/lris/directory/
Best of luck!
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Life in the Big City - Scam -
It is very easy to see from the responses here, which people have ever lived in a big city in a multiple young roomate situation before. I had multiple roomates in multiple apartments for 15 years (finally live like a real grown-up now:) all in San Francisco, and let me tell you. this is some kind of a scam. The letter writer feels creeped out, and rightfully so, she was lied to, plain and simple. from dealing with all the situations that developed from people crashing on couches, looking for new roomates, subletting, and just dealing with people on the street, my crazy-radar is set to a hair trigger, and my BS detector is very sensitive. To the person who wrote the leter, TRUST YOUR INSTINCT - these people misrepresented who would be living there, they are evasive to your questions. Obviously the "mom" needs a place to stay, there is probably a reason why she couldn't find one on her own, such as trouble with debt, the law, mental health, whatever, sucks to be her, but not your problem. small towners and "farmgirls" here will say i am too cynical and pissy, but have you ever been in a similar situation? no, have I?, yes.
tell them to deal with this and make new arrangements. Be carefull, if the mom stays any longer, she would have Squatters rights" in San Francisco, and become hard to legally remove. don't be surprised if you start getting hassled at all hours by bill collectors, looking for "mom" months or a year after they go, hapened to me...
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akaSmith: sorry, but no!
I have to disagree with you. This is not an apartment building. What has been described is a home where 'roommates' each have a bedroom but share the rest of the house as communal space. In a situation like this, the roommates certainly do have a right to know about this girl's illness. Even in apartment buildings and in places of employment, there are limits to privacy.
1) Is this girl contagious? No one is forced to live or work with someone with a serious or life threatening illness that's contagious unless they can take reasonable precautions to protect themselves, in which case they have the right to know that such precautions are needed or recommended and what they are. What if a roommate or co-worker had anti-biotic resistant TB? Would your post remain unchanged?
2) What kind of assistance might this girl need? Should LW keep hospital or ambulance phone numbers handy? Should she be walked through the use on an epi pen and know where one is? Should she be instructed to know what to do in case of a seizure? Are there warning signs she should look out for, and given instructions on what to do if she sees them?
Keep in mind the girl may not even be sick. No one is suggesting LW require the girl to provide her medical records for inspection, but if she's using her illness to justify anything it's reasonable to have her prove she's ill. If she is, does she pose a danger to others? If not, does she impose a responsibility on others, in that her life may depend on their action? What if an emergency occurred and the girl died in front of LW? Should she have to live with that, and maybe face legal action because she could have done something but didn't know what?
Legal protections go both ways. LW has a right to know if the girl is sick, and what is wrong.
There is a point on which we do agree. LW needs to get legal advice. Call the state housing authority (it's in the phone book) and start asking questions.
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The girl is defensive and secretive about her health problems.
might be a suicide watch
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Don't sweat the small stuff
Before it became a book title, "don't sweat the small stuff" was just a useful guide, and it still is.
One of life's most important lessons is being able to tell the difference between an irritating inconvenience and a problem.
If you think this is a problem, just wait til you are planning your wedding.
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LW is free to help these people or not. But if she does, it should be on her terms, NOT theirs.
sure, sure. The point I was making is that LW agreed to a sublet, so LW must go along. Said subletter is in a bad place (sick, needs help from mom for a few weeks). DEAL. Fact of life: we're not gonna be BFFs with most of our roommates and a lot of them are gonna creep us out, have guests, boyfriends, pets. So there is little foundation for calling the subletter a scam artist just cuz she's weird. My suggestion to help was A comment on everyone's jump to assume they're scam artist when truth is, they'll people in a bad way would need a little understanding.
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people are strange
This is disturbing. It is not appropriate, especially because she is a subletter, to have another person staying with her in your apartment. You have every right to feel uneasy and you are not paranoid or too "American" or selfish. It is a business agreement, and in this case that means money for a room to accomodate one person. You have the right to inform her she has to vacate (in most cities).
What would bother me most about this situation is the time and energy they are stealing. How incredibly selfish and rude! Home is where you relax and feel safe while you lower your guard. It can be a fragile ecosystem where negative outside influences can wreak havoc. You do not need to be involved in their drama, it has nothing to do with you. Medical, cultural and financial issues they may have are not your problem. I've lived in many apartments in big and small-ish towns, with roommates and alone but this is pretty bad. A few days is fine, even up to a week, but they are taking this too far.
I feel for you. Stand tall, get clear on your legal rights and move fast! Of course, if you do ask them to vacate, have someone there with you when that happens. Good luck!