Letters to the Editor
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Time to level
Sorry Amerigo, Farmgirl, Chulita, and everyone else insisting that Americans are just paranoid inhospitable whiners--this has red flags all over it. These people are being inconsiderate, evasive and manipulative. It would be different if they'd been even a little upfront about their plans.
First, wow, I can't even imagine how charming someone would have to be on the phone to sublet to her without meeting. But evidently, the roommates did that, not the LW. So first, get in touch with your roommates immediately and find out what EXACTLY the subleasing agreement entailed.
At least in my area, subleases are usually allowed by landlords but don't usually end up being arranged through the proper channels. If you have a good relationship with your landlord, he/she would be the first person I'd go to to clarify what you may be able to do. But if you don't, or if the sublease wasn't formalized properly, you could end up getting yourself fined.
I'd suggest sitting down for a very clear talk about what your expectations were regarding who was moving in, and how the current situation is in violation of that and while you're sympathetic to the girl's illness, is not what you agreed to and cannot continue indefinitely. You have to do this in an utterly calm, firm, administrative and adult manner. And I know how hard it is when you're being made to feel like the crazy unreasonable one. So get backup--don't do it alone for the sake of both your sanity and safety--a friend or neighbor or parent, whatever it takes for you to feel safe and supported. They have to know that it is NOT negotiable that the mother set a date to leave, and that you won't be passively bullied.
And unfortunately, the particular talent of people like this is evasion of a sit-down-and-talk situation.
Lastly, everyone, read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. Thesis: your intuition is there to keep you safe. If your gut tells you a situation is wrong, it probably is, so treat it like it is.