try seeing what it's like in five years. And then ten after that.

Rather than hoping to make past dreams real, try making your dreams express your life now. Singing isn't nothing, but what you sing is more important than how. Find your thoughts, not the ones you think you should have had, but the ones you now have.

Act on them. Be who you are, not who you think you should have been. You'll end up better, and if you do it right, so will your world.

Sing in your house until you feel like you're good enough to sing in public. Take lessons if need be.

When you're feeling good enough, find someplace, anyplace in your town where you can sing for people. It doesn't matter if it's a little cafe or a little local musical theater society or even singing for the elderly in a nursing home. Sing to the animals locked up in the pound -- they'll appreciate it, given their sad surroundings. (You'll probably get some free human interest publicity if you do something quirky like that). What matters is you'll be singing, instead of despairing about not singing.

No, you won't start at the top and knock Celine Dion off of the next Oscars (though baby, I wish you would). But so what? Nobody starts at the top, and very few get there, or even close. It's the journey and not the arrival that's important, so -- to use an awful cliche -- just do it.

Good luck.

Do it! Start doing something about it immediately. I am in my early 40's and had always wanted to learn to sing properly. Granted I used to sing in some rock bands and tried to do some more complex stuff when I formed an avant-pop type duo with a fellow musician but discovered I really needed lessons. So about five years ago, I started working with a friend who just happened to have a Master of Music in Vocal Performance/Pedagogy from a renowned local university. For an affordable rate, he helped me discover my voice and I can't imagine not being able to access those important parts of my soul anymore. Also, being an actor, I really, really wanted to be a principal character in a musical and I finally got my chance; that was an even more enjoyable level of education and opportunity.

Don't do a "woulda, shoulda, coulda" routine at the end of your days. Start with the baby steps... but just start! Now!

Best of luck in your ambitions!

Wasn't there just an article in the NY Times about middle-aged garage bands?

And on a separate note, LW, make friends with some 80-year-olds. You'll feel like a spring chicken! You have a whole 40 years to go! Surely you can accomplish a few things in that timespan.

Cary gave good advice, but too much advice. The best place to sing is in church. If you do not belong to a church, even if you do not believe in God, join a church in order to sing in the choir. That is easy.

Churches welcome good singers, and they tolerate all levels of experience and expertise. And you will have fun. Probably Thursday night rehearsals and Sunday morning performances. Everybody in the church choir has at least one kid and at least one TIVO-ing spouse.

From the way you write, I guess that you have zero experience. Did God give you a good voice? If not, you can go to any local karaoke place, and sing to your heart's content. Karaoke tolerates, even applauds, bad voices. Most of the audience, even most of the other singers, cannot tell good singing from bad singing.

If you are any good at all, go to a local place that has sit-in nights or jam nights. Sing there, and listen to the other singers. Evaluate yourself. Note whether the good musicians at the jam session ask you to come to their gigs or join their bands.

As Cary said, putting and keeping an act together is hard. But these first steps are easy, even if you have seven little kids. And they are fun. Do not bewail your fate. Just sing.

I have met several people who loved some favorite bands, and said they wanted to sing. But when I gave them chances to sing with real musicians, they did not even know the words. If you are a singer, sing.

So you want to sing...

How many times have I heard that? I am making as assumption that you have some ability to sing, hear pitch, and you have a decent range.

My suggestion is going to help you tremendously, and it is relatively simple. Learn to play guitar and/or piano. It will take you several years, but if you have the ability to really sing well, then you can express yourself independently regardless of what anyone think or says.

If you can play some keyboards, and some folk guitar the door is wide open.

Then you get a computer, Digital Audio Workstation software (Cubase, Logic), a Firewire audio interface, and a good microphone or two, and you have everything you need to create, produce, and perform music to you hearts content. In fact, I will simplify further.

1. Apple Macbook

2. Logic Pro software

3. M-audio 1814 interface

4. Rode NT1a microphone

5. KRK RP8 Monitors Monitors

6. M-audio Axiom 61 key controller

With this equipment, and some skill, you can create and fulfill your music desires. BTW, this can be done cheaper, but this is an elegant solution.

I have no beef with Cary's advice and I want to add that I think you'll be much happier with, well, everything if you can take care of some of that debt, however works for you. Maybe starting with the smallest, get them paid off one by one. Debt saps happy and makes you feel trapped. Break out of that and I bet the horizon will look much less cloudy.

Small-town life doesn't have to be cloistered and boring. Find a place to sing, tell your husband fun > TiVo, and sing. Your child will grow up happier with a mom who gets to pursue her interests even if they don't grow into a fabulous Singing Career.