Letters to the Editor
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Professional Mentoring (Redux - With Correction in Penultimate Paragraph)
Professional Mentoring
I know from experience that too many people don't get helpful mentoring regarding how they come across to others in a professional arena (and sitcoms, while they can be great fun to watch, don't help to set examples).
Like others here, I've made my fair share (and then some) of behavioral mistakes and assumptions that how I was acting was perfectly okay (when it wasn't).
Cary is, IMO, way off-base regarding the assistant's possibly being after her boss's job (where did he come up with that one--a sitcom?). She's probably just somewhat unsure of herself; my guess is that somewhere along the line she got positive reinforcement for being "sunny and funny," and thinks that's the way to behave--or got negative reinforcment for being too serious, and now she's overcompensating (my instinct tends toward the former, however).
The LW, if she values her assistant's skills, can indeed meet privately with her and give her the "good news" first (specifics about accomplishments, etc.), and then segue into the "however...," in which she can tell the assistant that while she appreciates her positive attitude and enthusiasm, she should consider that laughing all the time gives an impression of not taking things seriously, or conveys nervousness or trying too hard. She can tell the assistant that sometimes a smile can take the place of a laugh, and while it's great that she appears happy and pleasant, she can relax a bit and dial it down to enhance professional behavior that matches her skills.
If the assistant doesn't comprehend that she should take this as professional, and not personal, advice, then she may indeed be wrong for the job. But if she's given time to internalize it and act accordingly (and get positive feedback for same), then boss and assistant can find themselves in that good ol' "win-win" situation.
(Side note: Hard to believe that LW would be so naive as to take references literally, when in fact the whole world knows that positive references can be a cover-up in order to pass someone along sans lawsuit.)