Letters to the Editor
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LW makes final comment
I am the LW. I am amazed at the quantity and quality of response to the this question, which I thought was an interesting one, and has proved to be so.
My basic question was "Is this T-shirt suitable for the workplace?" Asking the question alone would not make for much of a discussion, so I provided a few background details, and omitted others like the type of work or the ethnicity of the participants that would make the question overspecific.
Several of the details have been interpreted by some contributors in ways quite different to what I intended. Clearly readers will interpret any detail, no matter how tiny, in terms of their own experience.
For example, stating that I know the young woman's parents, or that her supervisor named a child after me were only supposed to indicate that we live in a tightly-knit community where workplace relationships tend to extend beyond the workplace. Stating that I have no sexual interest in the young lady, although not particularly relevant, was intended only to head off any reader who might make that assumption (though obviously it did not work--my bad!)
The main fact that I did not state was that our organization's clientele includes a proportion of sex offenders and sexual predators, which means that the employer--a powerful entity whom I represent, if only in a humble capacity--has an interest in ensuring that employees dress in a suitably chaste manner so as not to give off inappropriate messages to clients (you can take "inappropriate" to mean whatever you like). Anyway, I have a responsibility to intervene both on behalf of the clientele and on behalf of the employee. Much better, in my view, to have her supervisor, have a quiet word with her that to go running to human resources who would probably want to make a federal case out of a trivial issue.
I did not state this in the original letter, because I was more interested in getting a wide range of response on how people perceived such a T-shirt than commentary on how I dealt with the specifics of the situation.
In view of the response, I did some further field research at Wal*Mart and saw the offending (or non-offending) T-shirt (which has a picture of Felix plus a dark blob, which I cannot figure out) displayed with other T-shirts, some of which were innocuous, but one of which had a picture of a candy bar and the words "The Slower You Lick, The Longer It Lasts" (can we start another thread on this one?).
Of course sexual offenders and sexual predators are not much different from ordinary men (or women)--as many Salon readers have enthusiastically pointed out--differing mainly in their inability to control their impulses towards inappropriate sexual conduct. Whether such a T-shirt might act as a stimulus for such urges remains a moot point for Salon readers--though in my view it has that potential.
Overall there does seem to be a difference of perception betwen men and women when it comes to T-shirt slogans, and it may be that on some occasions some women unwittingly attract male attention via T-shirt slogans whose alternative meanings they have not perceived at time of purchase.
Which brings me on to the slapping issue. In the dialect of English I speak, wanting to "give someone a good slapping" is a verbal idiom that means you find their behavior provocative or insulting. It doesn't necessarily mean that you want to beat them. Just out of interest I looked up the verb slap in some dictionaries and noted that meaning #1 means to strike with an open hand, and meaning #2 means "to criticize or insult sharply". I apologize to all those readers who were not familiar with anything beyond meaning #1 and consider myself slapped on the wrist--er, I mean in receipt of written counseling.
I should say that is spite of one or two implications by contributors that I may be a mass murderer in waiting, I believe this to be erroneous. I have never hit a woman, though I admit I have felt like it on occasion. Not acting on such desires is the difference between the criminal and the noncriminal. Any woman who does not believe that all men notice whether the women they encounter daily are attractive or not is living in a fantasy world.
Finally--in case anyone is worried--I would add that the young woman concerned, the supervisor, and myself all have a perfectly amicable working relationship. Though we did not agree about the T-shirt, we solve problems together, and with other people, day in and day out, and generally come out ahead of the game.
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I too am a slave
Cary - your response the "kitty not happy" letter brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for putting into words what I feel. I am a slave to my employer, too. Exactly as you described. I want to work, I don't even mind the work I do. I just wish attending to our humanity was more valued at my company -- and not just for people with children.
Maybe one day I will find the strenght and have the opportunity to break free.
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I write those kinds of slogans for a living
I am a writer and although I am not proud of it, I write slogans that go on products. I am all too familiar with the provocative T-shirts that are out there for young girls and women. Wal-Mart is one of the worst offenders but Abercrombie and Fitch has come in for its share of criticism, as well. Parents are fed up with some of the T-shirts and tanks out there. I can't imagine who would wear the lollipop one. I want to see the sales figures. Sometimes the most suggestive products are in the store to drive traffic and make the store seem cool and hip, but it's a loss leader because people look at the products in the store and giggle with their friends but end up buying the softer stuff. My guess is this young woman chose the "kitty" T-shirt at Wal-mart precisely because it wasn't suggestive like the others. The designers had the opportunity to put sequins and rhinestones and a big hot pink bow on a sleek, languid-looking uptown kitty if they had wanted to. This T-shirt looks to me to be the "soft" choice and maybe it suffered guilt by association with the really provocative shirts that are offered.
However, I still don't think this particular T-shirt was intended to have anything to do with sex, and here are two reasons. 1) The design. I can't describe it but there is a way for a little bit sassier or sexier of a meaning to be suggested in the design--with color and font choice as well as the drawing of the cat in question. This T-shirt just didn't have those elements, and Wal-Mart knows very well how to convey "in-your-face" when it wants to. (Ugh.) 2) If I were the writer and wanted to convey that the wearer of the T-shirt was on the make, on the market, on the prowl, you get the idea, I would have phrased it in a positive way. "Make Kitty Purr." "Take a Number, Tiger" "Maybe Later, Sweetpuss" "Meeeeeoooowwrrrrr!" Women do not "advertise" for boyfriends, male attention, whatever, with a negative "I'm in a bad mood" message. Women know very well that any kind of "not happy" message is the opposite of what would attract.
The LW just seems out of touch or obtuse on what's fashionable and considered "cute" vs. what's intended to be suggestive. The designer had every opportunity to make this T-shirt suggestive. Felix? Not even a cheetah could make a leap like that!