Letters to the Editor
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"What does the LW do when he sees a Hello Kitty doll?"
He might faint, or given his rather obvious ambivalent feelings and what he thinks Kitty actually means, he might orally assault the doll.
My God, what a funny picture! A Hello Kitty doll, tongued to death. :D
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If you boss points out that your outfit is inappropriate or even questionable, you probably should take notice.
He's not her boss. Her boss is the person this guy went to to complain. Her boss okayed the outfit.
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I suppose the LW would complain about the shirt with the smiling kitten stuffed very tightly into a glass jar
even though there isn't a SINGLE WORD on it. Some people.
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331 Letters!
Holy crap. Who knew Kitty could inspire this kind of response?
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A woman advertising her sexual frustration on a T-shirt?
OK. As has been discussed endlessly here, it seems the LW interprets the "kitty" shirt as a message about the woman's sex life (specifically, the lack thereof). As proof of this, he goes so far as to say that if he were her husband, he wouldn't want her wearing the shirt even at home. Supposedly, "kitty not happy" is an affront to male virility.
I've actually read most of the letters here, but I don't remember anyone asking why a woman would openly tell the world, with a T-shirt, that her partner isn't giving her any. Considering that, in our culture, we tend to view men as sex-starved beasts that will stick in in practically any available orifice, a lot of men tend to think that a woman not getting any from her partner can only mean a few things: she's really fat, she's really ugly, she's no good in bed, she's in love with a closeted gay man, she's being cheated on.
Would YOU want to advertise that with a T-shirt?
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The LW clarified a point
"He's not her boss. Her boss is the person this guy went to to complain. Her boss okayed the outfit."
The LW wrote to clarify. He's even higher up than her supervisor and probably because of embarassment asked that person to speak with her.
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AnnieW,
I am not so sure we can trust the LW to clarify anything. The first letter gives every indication that he is a mere co-worker. It isn't until the third letter that he assumes more power. Personally, I don't believe the LW on much of anything -- even the basic facts of the first letter.
However, if he is more powerful than the t-shirt wearer in the organization, his attitude becomes even more troubling.
The only thing I am sure of is that the LW is not Mike Dover because he is obviously more intelligent than Dover -- or any of the usual contingent of "males are discriminated against" whiners.
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AKA Smith
A knitted shell UNDER a t-shirt, and a lined jacket? She lacks common sense. That's bulky and hot. Lecturing behind one of the newer teaching stations, with all of their electronics, means a little more heat as well.
The price does not matter. Appropriateness does. Like it or not, there's a bunch of middle class people out there who see slogan t-shirts at work as inappropriate. They think if you don't know enough to dress appropriately, you don't know enough to handle social or business negotiations in an appropriate manner. They are in middle management and upper management. If you read anumber of interviews with powerful women in business, they make one point very clear-dress like you mean business, not like a teen at the mall. That's a mall shirt.
Pick your battles. If your battle is wearing shirts with slogans on them, pick your workplace wisely.
As for Stacy and Clinton, well, we'll disagree. I see them as frumping everyone up.
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Bravo, Cary. Bravo.
I spent years in corporate America and hated every minute of it. Even though I worked well within the system and enjoyed a good deal of respect and success, I felt shackled, choked, and oppressed everyday. Spending the majority of my time in an environment where someone else (explicitly or implicity) dictated the structure and timing of my day, my environment, my words, and my wardrobe stomped the life out of me. I will never go back.
Thanks for putting this into words, Cary. Bravo.
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Sorry domini, I didn't proof read well.
No wonder you are puzzled. I meant she was wearing the silk shell under her jacket.
I hope you will re-reply with that in mind. ;)
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Also, I hope we have moved beyond slogans
now that we have established that many people don't see Kitty as being Pussy.
I will agree with you about slogans. (Remember the LW's complaint wasn't slogan tees in general but the particular slogan.) I never wear slogans -- or even advertising if I can help it. I don't care if the bag does say LV.
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Shirts and scripts
However, if he is more powerful than the t-shirt wearer in the organization, his attitude becomes even more troubling.
On the upside, he reported himself to the woman's supervisor. This means that someone with some clout knows he has an issue here.
I find it bizarre that a line used by my 12-year-old when he doesn't want to do his math has somehow come to mean that a woman wants a good fuck by whomever is willing to step up to the plate. Yes, there are some raunchy shirts out there, but whether it's Hello Kitty, a fluffy cat with a sad expression, or Felix, this isn't one of them. Getting to that point requires a line of reasoning that in turn requires additional information about the person wearing the shirt.
The LW gives us that. He says later: "In my book, when a married woman goes to work wearing a T-shirt that advertises that she is not getting enough sex, the intention is to inflict hurt on her husband and to get the attention of other males."
Take a second look at what I put in boldface. That's the script he used to interpret her shirt.
Even better, he spoon-fed it to Cary's readers. He set up his coworker as the perfect soon-to-be slut: attractive, good girl from good family, married young, discontent with that brief marriage, then combine these two to get sexual dissatisfaction, because why else would a hot young chick be dissatisfied with a husband? Hello, Girls Gone Wild, because everyone knows these bitches are ripe for a bit of strange. Right?
Seen through these eyes, yes, that shirt was flagrantly provocative, but that perspective has absolutely nothing to do with reality. The LW didn't give us a single fact to support his assumptions.
There's a high probability that he even misquoted the shirt. Based on everyone's Googling, it probably said "Kitty's not happy", rather than "Kitty not happy", and the latter lends itself a bit more readily to sexual interpretation. "Kitty's not happy" combined with a picture of a displeased cartoon cat, doesn't say, "My husband has a small dick and I'm looking for a replacement". It says, "Leave me alone today, I'm in a bad mood".
In other words, he didn't see what was right in front of him. This says far more about his own mind than it does about the appropriateness of his coworker's clothing.
Again, it's a good thing he reported her. His problem isn't just office gossip now. Somebody with some authority has it right from the horse's mouth.