Letters to the Editor
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Across her breasts?
Just about any T-shirt logo is placed about a third of the way down from the collar to the hem. Guess where that puts the logo on a woman's body? If the shirt read "Drink More Coffee", I presume the LW would be shaking like a leaf.
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cat not happy about being turned on
sexual harrassment in the workplace includes being inappropriately sexual. it's not okay to push your sex life in your coworkers' faces if they don't want it there. usually, it's men who do this to women (or other men) in the workplace. but that doesn't mean that a woman can't make male coworkers legitimately uncomfortable with coy displays of her kitty's unhappiness--especially when she's been so forthcoming about her disintegrating marriage.
the writer of this letter, on the other hand, was obviously disturbed by this because it turned him on and he resented being turned on. this is simultaneously legitimate (see above) and sexist. it's sexist because part of his resentment clearly stemmed from his loss of control over his sexual response to an attractive young woman who he feels should be subject to his authority. his immediate response is to say that if she was his wife, he would feel like slapping her. huh? does he imagine that he'd have more control over her if he were her husband? or perhaps he's revealing here that he marries to gain control.
both of them are in the wrong. she needs to dress appropriately for work not out of cary's silly idea of slavishness to authority, but out of simple respect for her coworkers, who are there, after all, to earn a living, not to be turned on or prodded about someone else's sex life. the writer should take it up with HR and be very clear about the fact that the sexual innuendo of her t shirt made him personally uncomfortable. at the same time, he needs to examine his own response. he's not wrong for expressing his discomfort. he is wrong for trying to make it an issue of his authority.
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@cossey_m
>He sounds like he's slightly obsessed with his young coworker...<
Agreed--there's a real "dirty old man posing as Mr. Morality" vibe to this letter.
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Yes LW, you are a bad person.
"A good slapping?" - how'd you fancy your teeth being handed to you on a platter.
And what's with this ridiculous Victorian mentality? how did middle America become such prudes?
BTW - no one likes a tattle tale.
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Kitty is inconsiderate of others.
I'll leave the "good slapping" thing alone because, well, yuck.
While I agree with much of what Cary has to say there have to be rules in the workplace that we all follow. Why? Because if you're in an office with forty people and everyone's allowed to let their personal life "rudely intrude" in a printed statement on their chest there's no "momentarily" to it -- nothing gets done. A printed statement is different than griping to a co-worker at the copy machine how kitty isn't happy at home. A printed statement is a constant statement. Multiply that by forty people confined and interacting together ten hours a day.
I'm definitely not uptight about sexual expression but in some places and situations it's uncomfortable. For example, a few years ago at a very nice restaurant in New Orleans our waiter wouldn't quit with the double-entendre and at one point even directly referenced his "dick" (he guessed we were gay and apparently thought that it was Ok then). Everyone was visibly uncomfortable each time he did it -- no one was playing along. Were we supposed to drop our conversation and let the "reality" of his sexual expression "rudely intrude" every five or ten minutes? Same thing for this woman's t-shirt. If I had to sit beside her at work I wouldn't want to be told each time I turned to her that no one's paying attention to her pussy. If things are tough at home tell me at the water cooler, let's go have lunch and dish all you want. But don't put it in my face every time I have to work with you on something.
My last comment is that not everyone hates their work like the situations Cary describes. Almost all of us have times where we do, and I've had jobs I did hate, but people can and do take satisfaction in whatever they do that happens to earn them money. There are many tasks at my job that I enjoy and it would piss me off if half my co-workers thought it was Ok to drop by and interrupt me whenever to explain how kitty isn't happy. Um, that makes kitty inconsiderate of others.
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Kelly Q
"What happened to, we're all stuck here together, living under the same oppressive rules, so let's support each other and help each other out?"
Uhhhhh, I think that went out with 'Hostile work environment'. You remember--the engineer at Boeing who got axed becuz he had a picture of his wife in a bikini on their honeymoon discreetly placed in his cubicle.
Meantime, three cubes down a woman had as her screensaver a picture of Brad Pitt without his shirt--but thats different of course.
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About that engineer at Boeing
Hey, Anonymous, do you have a cite for the story about the engineer who got fired for having a photo of his wife in a bikini? I couldn't seem to find any reference to it. Thanks in advance. Oh, and if the citation you post also had a reference to the co-worker who had the Brad Pitt screensaver, that would be great, too, because I'd be curious to read about that. Thanks.
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I wear t-shirts to work all the time...
Some of the slogans that have been displayed across my bosoms:
"I Need Supervision"
"Guilty"
"I Wish You Would Just Stop Talking" (illustrated by Tinkerbell waving her wand)
"Hi. I Don't Care. Thanks."
"Slightly Dramatic"
"Not Listening"
I'm a lawyer, by the way, and get solid performance reviews and pay increases despite my wardrobe. The tattoos and piercings of some of my co-workers haven't seemed to impair their upward mobility, either.
Time to yank yourself into 2007, LW. Being nosy and judgmental - not to mention wanting to slap your wife for her wardrobe choices - is so last century.
But if you can't find it into your heart to open your mind, you could probably find some great career opportunities in the Middle East.