My heart goes out to LW. I'd like to suggest a product called Feliway (It's a cat pheromone-like substance). When we took in a stray male (very submissive, gentle cat) our resident female cat went nuts, attacking him at every opportunity even though she was half his size. We tried Feliway and it helped. You spray it around the house (but not on the cat) and you can also get the plug-in version and it seemed to help. Good luck to you!

I founded an animal rescue, and if this helps, here is our hierarchy of treatment of an animal with aggression or severe behavioral problems.

1. Determine if there is a medical problem. Do EXACTLY what the vet recommends.

2. Set up practical management strategies (e.g., confining to a specific area). Adhere EXACTLY to what is devised.

3. Contact a legitimate behaviorist. Do EXACTLY what behaviorist recommends.

4.Go for last resorts/long shots (holistic diet, looking for someone who could handle and would want the animal without putting animal in a marginal situation).

5.The big decision -- euthanasia.

Here is how we decide the euthanasia question.

1.Is the animal happy? Is the world a safe place for the animal, or is the animal frightened and angry all the time?

2.Is the animal a risk to itself, humans, or other animals?

3.Is there a possibility that this animal will end up being taken away (i.e., quarantined or seized) from its owner due to a serious biting or aggression incident? If so, that animal is likely to spend its last days in misery and terror, away from the only thing in life that gave it comfort -- its humans and home.

Honestly answering these three questions can help you to make the right decision, and feel that you have acted according to your conscience and done everything you could.

Also, before everyone freaks out, I used "it" for readability, not because I consider animals as "its."

It is not merciful to keep an agressive, unhappy animal alive. It is mercifull to put it down. That's why they call it putting the animal out of its misery.

I just adopted a cat I named Oliver. Honest. He's an elderly guy and doesn't have that much longer to live. My other cats are not pleased. Last night, one of the males came into the livingroom where I was watching TV and urinated on the TV stand, his eyes locked on me the entire time. This was the first time he's ever sprayed inside. Cats are adorable but also incredibly annoying. It's important to listen to what they're trying to tell you, but none of us are entirely fluent in speaking cat.

If the cat wasn't able to be with his mother through the usual nursing and weaning period, perhaps this is part of the root of his aggression. Kittens learn behavior from mom and those who are prematurely separated can have problems.

None of this is very helpful, I'm afraid. Maybe your cat would do better with a companion, if it is introduced slowly. Expect some fighting, but this can pass if you're patient. Or maybe he'd do better in an entirely different home. This doesn't mean you were a bad owner, just that animals are as different as we are when it comes to getting along.

I know people who've put their pets on Prozac, though that probably sounds like a drastic step. Personally, I wouldn't, but it's an individual decision. If you've tried everything, though, and failed, it's okay to give the cat to a shelter. But please don't abandon it, it's not likely to survive long.

If you're avoiding putting the cat down because you think it will be horrible for the cat, talk to your vet and you'll be reassured.

Several years ago we had to have a beloved pet euthanized after she developed epilepsy late in life. The vet was a friend and we discussed the options and felt it was kindest for her, given that the seizures were terrifying to her and didn't respond to medication.

We took her to the clinic, petted her as she sat on the table and he gave her an injection, just as he had before. She died almost instantly, with no pain.

If you sedate the cat to take it to the vet anyway, the process itself should not be painful, nor should it be the deciding factor. I believe the comments about feral cats are very important. This may not be domestic cat at all but in reality a wild animal who feels it has been trapped by predators and caged in a house for its whole life.

Good luck.

I think you should buy a big cage or kennel, somthing that a litter box/food will fit in (or a small bathroom) to lock the cat up in. If you know you have people coming over or the super to check things - lock the cat up. Make sure he has a safe place to hide if strangers are coming over (a tall cat tree, or shelf). If you are petting him and he begins to get agressive/tense, put him in the cage. Be 'over the top' happy with praise when he's being good & give him a treat or some cat nip (somthing he likes). You can do it, It'll take time to change his behavior. But cats can be trained.

All animals that live and hunt in groups - dogs, cats, and humans alike - are wired for a hierarchal society to a greater or lesser degree. They'd starve to death if they weren't. The primary job of the top cat is to keep the other cats safe.

mattwa33186

This is not, in fact, true. Cats do not hunt in groups, and though domesticated cats can live in groups (and do so very successfully, because the modern cat is a most adaptable creature), it's not generally their first choice. The African wildcat, from which the modern housecat evolved, is the single most solitary animal on the face of the Earth. They get together to mate, and that's it. Otherwise, each cat has its own territory which they will defend to the death. This, if you know housecats, explains a great deal. Many cats are amazingly sociable, of course, and this is because we've bred them over the years to be docile, friendly, and amenable to groups--more kittenlike, in a word. But the process isn't infallible.

The letter-writer's cat is not trainable and it is not tamable. I have known such cats, and they're permanantly unhappy living in a household. They're a lot closer to their wild ancestors than the friendly, cuddly cats we love and cosset. LW's cat will never be happy with another living thing in proximity to itself, and it's probably not going to be able to adapt to an outdoor life. That means only one thing.