Are you really a bird lover instead?

I knew there'd be people like you around. Maybe we should take the same solution for cranky people. Everyone who doesn't play well with others: Zap 'em!

No matter how many of us here relay our own similar experiences, we'll all come up short because they're not yours, and so it's going to be really difficult to extrapolate from one to the next.

My first response was, Three years? Three years isn't so bad. And many of the responses here are right on, it seems to me. I've had a lot of problem animals. I've agonized over whether to give them away, give them up, have them put down. In the long run, I've had to work really really hard to keep them, and you know what? It's been worth it. So far, I've never had to put an animal down for behavioral issues, but I'd never say for sure that it couldn't happen, because just as I believe there are some truly irredeemable people, I believe that in rare cases the same is true of some animals.

But that's a really young cat to give up on just yet. And you haven't even begun to explore some viable options. Which is not to say it won't be time consuming and that it won't feel hopeless and that many times you won't feel defeated. I took one beloved dog through three obedience classes before I began to trust she could be saved. And by the time she reached that point (part of which was simply growing older in addition to the truly long, hard work we did together), people who hadn't know her before couldn't believe she'd ever been such a monster.

Two of our dogs now are fine with people but can't abide in the same space without trying to murder each other, and so we live in a divided house, with gates separating them. On the one hand we're relieved knowing it won't be forever, and on the other hand we're pained knowing we won't have them forever because dogs' life spans are so woefully short. For the past eight years, we've lived with a divided house. And even reaching the decision to go that route was long and agonizing, and we worked several years beyond that to socialize them in other ways.

The past couple of years I've agonized over how to handle the stray cat who I know has fathered three of our boy barn cats and who has terrorized them repeatedly. I trapped him and took him to a shelter, retrieved him, gave him away (he came back), got him neutered (key), got after him over and over with a water bottle set on stun whenever I caught him in the act, and it's only the past couple of months I've been able to believe things actually will change. Tonight, they all gathered in the barn together around the food dishes, bumping noses and winding their tails around each other as if it's the way it's always been. And with each small step in that direction I'm of course relieved and surprised and hopeful.

Anyway, neutering by all means. And as someone else noted, the great outdoors does a cat a world of good. "Barn cat" of course means you have a barn where the cats come and go as they like and keep the mice at bay. And as a kid, growing up in a small town meant we let our animals come and go as they liked. I know the jury's out on that issue, but I think it might be a viable option for some cats. Maybe, after some other work, your cat.

Best of luck. Keep trying.

That is, a veterinarian who has done a residency and is certified in veterinary behavior. Not an "animal communicator" or "energy healer" but an actual medical professional who has spent additional time learning about behavior issues. If you live in a decent metropolitan area (or better yet near a vet school) there should be one in the general vicinity. You can find one at http://www.dacvb.org/about_us/diplomates_copy_1/ If you don't live near one ask your regular veterinarian about the potential for medications to treat anxiety and aggression.

A vet behaviorist should be your last stop since it appears other medical problems have been ruled out. If they (or your regular vet) can't help you, no one will. There really are just some cats out there that can't be helped. In a situation in which the animal is attacking people sadly sometimes the only responsible thing to do is to euthanize. Some cat and dogs just have something wrong in the head.

I have a similar situation. My dog had heartworm disease and the treatment changed her from sweet to aggressive, frightened and dangerous

.

I considered putting her down after she bit my other dog in the eye, but couldn't bear to.

A combination of Prozac and visits to a behavorial vet mellowed her considerably. She still has (rare) wild spasms of aggression, but I can see them coming in time to restrain her.

She's back to being the sweetie-pie I knew. The household is calmer, I'm not living with aggression, she's happier, and I'm so glad I did not give up on her!

best of luck!

It all depends on how the LW feels towards the cat. If they don't have any particular emotional attachment they should definitely put the cat down.

Why are animals that are traditionally used as pets given more rights than a cow or a pig? Why the fuck does a cat have a right to life that a chicken doesn't?

If you eat meat but think this cat shouldn't be killed if the LW wants to than you have a preconceived notion that is causing negative effects (overcrowding shelters; filling the streets with strays).

I was surprised Cary completely removed killing the cat from the options, and didn't even ask how attached they were to it. I completely disagree that killing the cat would amount to any kind of "failure". Who in their right mind would hire a veterinary behaviorist for an animal they didn't like?

All vegans please don't respond to this. You are ideologically sound in my mind.