Letters to the Editor
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that's what it's like, mikerm5255 - someone puts someone's picture up
and we all throw darts at it. that's our fun. pathetic, sure, but we are all self-absorbed infants here.
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re: But on the other hand, wow...I can't believe the harsh, almost hateful responses this letter generated. Christ almighty...
I guess when people see a true asswipe in action, the acid flows!
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clever "hmmmmmmmmmmmm" for figuring it out!
but even so, it doesn't negate the fact that we are all self-absorbed infants, only that some of us are *deceitful* self-absorbed infants.
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Nice reply, LW...
Too bad you just proved you immaturity a little more by the tone of your post on the forum (assuming that is you)...
Look, Cary is 100% right about this, based on the limited amount of information you gave him in your letter. I think the phrase "unmitigated prick" would only apply to, say, Nick Nolte's father in "Affliction" (played masterfully by James Coburn)...you're being way too hard on a dying man that doesn't OWE you anything in his remaining days on this earth.
What are going to do about it anyway? Tell him how you feel? He doesn't give 2 shits about you now, and probably doesn't give another 2 shits about his step-daughter...just what would telling him how you feel now accomplish, other than ruin your burgeoning relationship? Your post seems to be crying out for justification to have some "I'll show 'em" moment with the step-father...and Cary (and everyone else here) are raining on that parade for you, and rightfully so.
And speaking of burgeoning relationships...I'd question the long-term viability of this mate you have chosen for the moment...the fact she dropped a supposedly lousy long-distance relationship for you has been picked up by other folks in this forum as a serious red-flag, and rightfully so.
If the step-father wants to go the way he is, too bad...for you, at any rate. Sucks to be in that kind of position. You need to buck-up and be a man now...drive over there and pick up your woman properly, face the "unmitigated prick" as best you can, overcome this challenge, and move on with your life...either with or without this catch-of-a-woman. I don't give 2 shits either way, but be a man, god-damnit!
**PS - Cary, tnx. for bring the phrase "two shits" back to life...it's one of my favorite sayings, because so many people need to hear that every once in a while...
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Assuming that this _is_ the LW writing in...
Being honest doesn't give you a free pass. Everyone who's pointed out that you're coming across like a self-centered jerk is also being honest, right?
You may not be experienced with death by illness. From your letter, you don't sound as though you are. How do you know the guy's being an asshole and isn't just too sick to turn on the charm?
If you don't know, then where is the harm in giving him the benefit of the doubt and acting as though he'd be more pleasant if he could be?
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Cary, my man, you got it exactly right this time,...
But I want everyone to notice the LW's response: Common sense holds no sway.
Not to pick a fight, or go off-topic, but I find AKA Smith's participation unusual because he/she won't usually allow that men have the right to behave this way - when it comes to women.
When it comes to women, according to Smith, we've got to kow-tow, be nice, try to be understanding, etc., but man-to-man all bets are off. He/she has even petitioned Salon to kick me off because I act in this manner toward anyone who shows the same traits as the LW.
In a country that's fighting for equality between the genders, I find Smith's response bizarre.
And before he/she comes back with "this man is dying", I'd suggest Smith consider that I'm living each day as if it were my last,...
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The "Step" relationship...
I have a grown step-daughter whom I absolutely ADORE. Having her live with us, as an adult, would be incredibly stressful - family illness or no. And having any of her friends, lovers, or associates HANG OUT at "her place" (my home, fer chrissakes!) would make me lose my frackin' mind.
LW - do this poor, dying man a favor & meet your lady-love at Starbucks.
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Cary (and everyone else) before you go on with this Buddha/Spiritual stuff,...
Can I suggest you, seriously, investigate Chris Locke's Mystic Bourgeoisie site - starting here:
http://mysticbourgeoisie.blogspot.com/2006/01/body-mind-and-spirit.html
It's the part of America's current "spiritual" bent that creeps me out: Illogical beliefs, justifying illogical laws, driving people to illogical actions.
Seriously - is America going the way of Germany?
Only believers - those nazi-like people whose ranks seem to be growing every day - don't see it. I cover many of the same topics, bluntly, in my blog as well:
http://themachoresponse.blogspot.com/
I think THAT's the very kind of thinking that post-feminsits indulge in, and leads to assumptions like the LWs,...
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I'm Sorry,...
This is the Mystic Bourgioesie link:
http://mysticbourgeoisie.blogspot.com/2006_01_01_archive.html
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Dear Letter Writer -
I'm sorry you're being treated so rudely, even by Cary. There's no excuse for it.
You are right, that people should treat each other courteously. One of the most damaging expectations one can have, however, is that one be treated in a certain way; that I deserve to be treated like the full human being that I am. I mean, people should definitely be treated that way, but if I expect it of others and get upset when it doesn't happen, and preoccupy myself with not being treated right, it is a very damaging state of affairs; very personally damaging. It is an attitude that, if practiced regularly, can literally ruin one's life.
But you are not nothing. You should not accept degradation. You should not go out of your way to do this dying man, this asshole dying man, any special favors. I would be polite to him, and brief, but not go way out of my way to avoid him. I would never provoke him. I would never spar with him. Just pass on by. I would never lay any of my humanity out for him to step on unless he came across with some humanity, and then I would be measured.
He is making a grave mistake, no pun intended, in not appreciating what life is left in his body and is all around him. But fuck him if he can't take a joke. We're all dying too, and dealing with our own blindness to the life that is in us.
Enjoy. Don't let the bastards grind you down.
Best,
Monty
(More, for free: google "Rabid Fanatic" +"Monty Johnston")