Letters to the Editor
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Too late
Unfortunately, it's too late -- you can't avoid a land mine that you've already stepped on. The trigger was set when the LW became pregnant, even if it hasn't detonated yet.
These people I knew were in a similar situation. They agreed that the man would be the primary caregiver, and had the baby, but ended up divorcing anyway.
The fact of the matter was that the man kept hoping that the woman would feel differently about the situation, but she didn't. You can't make someone want (or not want) something if they don't.
In the LW's case, giving the baby up for adoption may or may not be a realistic option, depending on why the husband wants her to have it. It sounds as if what he wants goes beyond the simple idea of avoiding an abortion (maybe he has some romantic ideas about procreation?). And as far as I can tell, if the biological father vetoes adoption plans, there's no way that the woman can go through with it unilaterally.
Certain mistakes can be undone. Marriages that don't work out can be "fixed" (however imperfectly) through divorce. However, other choices can't be undone -- this applies to having a baby as well as an abortion. Perhaps it would be best if the LW were to examine what she herself wants in this situation, and consider what option she would choose if her husband were to disappear from the picture.