Letters to the Editor
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In a dream world.....
I don't think this could ever be possible.
My dear Cary, I almost always agree with your philosophy...but I know in my heart this scenario could NOT work, or it's a very RARE couple that could make a go of it...but think what it would do to the poor child.
Children, from a very young age are able to read us grown ups very well. They know who to turn to with their owies, and who will open their arms when they need a hug, they know to stay away from Creepy Uncle Charlie at family get togehters....how would they feel if only one of their parents were there for their needs??
I can bet you a million this Mother would not be able to turn her back if her child needed anything...contract be damned, if Daddy was gone, even for a second, and this child cried out for something, she'd be there...and she'd possibly resent having to do it, but I know very few Mom's that could truly turn away and say "Go see your Dad for that"!
Raising a child is really set up for a two parent interaction...when one needs a break, the other is there for back up...I've raised two kids as a single parents, so yeah it is "possilbe" to have only one parent, but it leave that person really taking the brunt of all the childs needs...that wears the responsible parent down tremendously...I can see why this Mom is havings second thoughts on starting from square one...and I totally symathize with her...I didn't have my second child until I was 35 and my first was almost 12..that's a large spread of your parental commitment years!!
I love both my kids with all my heart, but if I were really honest, when my oldest moved out I had a sinking feeling that I still had a long road to hoe to get my second one raised, & on on their own....and I was ready to be free of parent responsibilities.
I feel for this Mom...our paths are almost identical in every respect, except that I chose to bite the bullet, and let my 2nd hubby experience fatherhood...and yeah I did have some resentment here and there, and yeah, the marriage did not work out after all...but I've still got a child that is a joy to me.
Who intentionally has a child knowing that down the road you will take some part in raising this child on your own, or at best you'd be co-parenting in the end anyway??
This Mom has a lot of thinking to do, and none of it looks like blue skies in the end to me...but she has to stay with what she believes will be best for her, and her relationship with her husband...as heart breaking as it is, he may resent her down the road and leave. She could go for it, and have the baby, but it's possible she would be resentful enough to where the marriage would end either way...and there would be a child left in the middle of it all.
My heart goes out to this woman.
Mingo