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I agree with the writers who say to get this girl professional help. I would say this even if she weren’t ripping her hair out at the roots and piercing herself with sharp objects; she’s been through a lot lately and I think she needs an unbiased outsider to bounce things off of and help her make sense of it all.
Cary’s advice (celebrate good times . . . come on!) is bizarre and Orwellian. Hey little kid, so your life is turned upside down? Par-tay! Clamp a smile on your face, eat some cake and wave that rainbow flag! Clearly this advice is based on Cary’s political views rather than on the girl’s actual feelings (which we don’t really know but can form some reasonable opinions about). Think of it from her point of view: The person she thought was her father is gone, just like her grandmother is gone. This is more akin to a death than anything else. You could say it’s also like a birth (that of the woman who is now her father) that she should celebrate, but you can’t expect her to do that before she has properly mourned what she has lost.
I don’t see this as “reframing.” This is constructing a Potemkin village and requiring a confused, frightened little girl to take up permanent residence.
