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There are no accidents. You handed your hubby this diary of your "darkest secrets" (yeah, I'm sure they were real chillers, too) and are stunned that he read them?
The fact is, you were hoping he would. Now you get to "forgive" his transgression, secure in the knowledge that he accepts your "dark side" and yet continue to dangle the threat that it's affected your relationship too badly to go on. Spare me. More to the point, spare him.
I suggest you stop with this obvious "pay attention to me" gambit and allow this poor guy to see his dying father off and mourn in an environment sans worry of whatever the hell YOU might be thinking. If, after an appropriately decent time passes, you are still unable to get over the fact that he fell for your ploy, then allow him to move on and find someone less manipulative.
