Letters to the Editor
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New converts to anything are often zealots
Whether it's Amway, the church, or being a cop, a new convert to anything often becomes a zealot for a time. Your sister may mellow after a while, as she learns to balance being a cop with being the rest of the things she used to be, or she may not.
Your question, it seems to me, is representative of a larger question: What do we do when our loved ones become horrible people? What are we supposed to feel?
My own mother, who used to be a very kindly person, as she grows older and more established in the world, becomes more and more of a... well, I can't think of a polite way to say "Conservative Dickwad." The other day we had an argument about the police. The details of the argument are irrelevant to this discussion; what's relevant is that my mother said, "Well, the cops will only bother the people who need to be bothered, those criminal types. People like me and my friends will never encounter the situation, so it doesn't concern us."
Needless to say I expressed an opposing viewpoint, but it turns out she's serious. My mom, who raised me to be liberal, skeptical of those in power, and open-hearted to all different kinds of people, now believes that the cops would only stop and search criminals. What am I supposed to do with that?
My husband's got the same sort of situation with his mother. She remarried recently, to a man who belongs to a strict branch of the Baptist faith; now all of a sudden she no longer believes in evolution, thinks gay people are damned, and attends a church which doesn't allow women to attend business meetings. What the hell?
What are you supposed to do when someone you love betrays everything she used to stand for? How should I know? I can tell you what I am doing, but I can't say it's giving me any sense of accomplishment or relief. I'm trying to appreciate that my mother has her own view of the world, based on shoes I don't happen to be standing in. I'm reminding myself that although I try to deny it, no doubt much of the time I myself am an ignorant dickweed in various ways on various subjects, and other people somehow manage to put up with me. I'm avoiding certain subjects, while at the same time refusing to say anything I don't believe for the sake of keeping the peace. I'm loving the people I always loved, without sharing their opinions.