Letters to the Editor
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It's like justifying buying sweatshop child labor products.
Before all the vegan haters descend upon this thread, and lord knows they will, I just want to say that it is one thing to eat animals, and another to eat animals raised in factory farm conditions. The former is understandable, given human history, though still in the end not necessary to survive. The latter cannot be justified. Maybe factory farming results in cheaper meat and eggs, etc., but forced child labor in sweatshops results in cheaper goods, and that is not a good enough reason to support it.
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Food For Thought
I don't eat meat and I live in California, yet I find Non-Vegan's friend annoying. I do disagree with Cary's dismissal of the "You are what you eat" adage. When you break it down, there is just no escaping that fact.
The benefits of a vegan diet are too numerous to be ignored or listed here, yet vegans don't make better friends. My best friend is a thirteen year old cat and there's no way she can become a vegan. We don't judge each other which is the key to our friendship.
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Something I've noticed about most Vegans
They're self-righteous and have a need to be the center of attention in a given situation.
I know plenty of vegetarians (and have been one myself) who are good people. I know exactly one Vegan who isn't mentally unstable, self-righteous, and slightly Borderline.
Just an observation. Take it as it is. Maybe I'm still smarting from the last time I had a young Vegan friend over. I had carefully prepared a nice spaghetti meal (Thank you Trader Joe's people for helping me!) that was completely vegan. I even saved all the wrappers to show this young friend that it was, indeed, vegan.
She was highly disappointed and pouted through the meal. My husband pointed out that we'd taken the fun out of being vegan for her - she had no reason to insist upon something special, or refuse to eat and make us feel guilty or lecture us on the evils of meat while staring at us in a self-righteous manner. And, worst of all, everyone LIKED the meal and said it all tasted pretty darn good. Oh, the nerve of me!
Guess what, letter writer, your friend sounds like the same sort of person. I have hopes that my friend will grow up and mature: she's still in her early 20's. I don't know about yours. You might have to accept that as a fault. We all have our flaws some are friendship breakers with some folks and some aren't. I can't say which this is for you. . .
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Drop it like it's hot.
Where does she get off being the food police?
You respect her decision not to eat animals and presumably make every effort to accommodate her food situation. She harangues you about your different choices and demands that you justify yourself.
Friendship is about meeting people halfway. It's time to tell her to drop the militant vegan bullshit if she wants to stay friends with you.
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Well, I'll be Damned
Cary actually makes sense, and reasonably directly to boot.
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A much simpler response
When your Vegan friend feels the urge to attack you for your lifestyle, as if your existence was some sort of undealable harm to him/her, just respond the only logical way anyone can:
"Bite me."
It is not just apt, but also safe. He/she will never do it as you are meat and are made of proteins fed by other meat. It's against her religion to bite you and he/she will cower before the thought the way vampires fear biting into garlic.
Bite me.
Short simple and yet says so much more.
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Response to DurianJoe
You are making the same argument as the LW's friend by equating factory farming with child labor. One may not approve of factory farming from environmental and avoiding unnecessary suffering to non-human animals but it is still in a different ballpark with child labor. They are still NON-HUMAN animals. And there are people, like the LW and like myself, who may feel compassionate towards animals but not hold them as equal to the suffering of human beings.
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Factory farming
Wrong. Factory farming IS, in fact, in the same category as child labor in terms of impact on humans. Factory farming of animals is disgusting for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the appalling treatment & condition of animals. But the practice is equally harmful to each and every human on this planet because of the rampant use of foul chemicals & hormones that pollute our air, water and food.
Food is, happily, becoming increasingly political. I think the LW should simply state to his friend what he tells us in his letter. I absolutely disagree with Cary that a friend cannot say, with all honesty, "I want to UNDERSTAND you." If this friend is really a friend, he'll listen to what you have to say.
(And no, I'm not a vegan.)
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Better response to DurianJoe
The LW doesn't want to debate the merits of veganism with his friend. He simply wants to spend time with her without being harangued. If she can't do that, then she or he needs to end the friendship. It's like a Democrat trying to be friends with a Republican--either they have to agree to not discuss politics or they need to end the friendship since they are never going to be able to agree on that issue.
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can go both ways
I am not a vegan, but a vegetarian (I have milk on my cereal and I eat lots of ice cream). As one who does not eat meat, I don't give a rat's a** what anyone else eats or why. Personally, I cannot bring myself to eat anything that MAY have a personality. I know, I know, with that rule there are many humans that are edible, but that's too messy and in most cases criminal.
I don't announce my vegetarian ways, make it an issue or use it as any sort of character definition. When out, I pass on the meat, gravies, etc but people do notice....
people: not having steak?
me: no salad is fine
people: not hungry? watching your cholestrol/calories? have some chicken instead.
me: I don't eat meat.
people: are you making a political/PETA statement?
me: no, I'm having a salad
Having said that, vegans are too skinny and are the proverbial royal pains. Apparently, they don't make good friends either.