Letters to the Editor
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support
I think several of these writers don't have kids since they're so worried about the parents feeling usurped. I have 4 closely spaced children, and have not been away for a weekend with my husband in 25 years. We didn't even go out for about 10 of those years, because we didn't have anybody to leave them with. A doting auntie who wanted to take them for an evening or a weekend would have been a Godsend. You don't understand how relentless the demands of a family are until you've faced them alone, and someone who wants to help would I think be most welcome.
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Go for it
I'm sure you know your own sisters and their husbands well enough to find some balance. While any parents of young children appreciate help, I'm sure they don't want you in their house 24/7. But you're no doubt smart enough to figure that out.
Make sure that you're well-versed in everything to do with child safety. Car seats, baby and toddler proofing your own house (ditch the glass vases full of dried flowers on the sharp-edged coffee table), and whatever rules the parents insist upon, even if they seem arbitrary to you. There's nothing more irritating to me than discovering Grandma decided on her own that one of my rules isn't worth following. Grr.
What I've appreciated as a parent are the times to focus on one child at a time, to give each kid a chance to be special. As an extra pair of hands, you can provide this, along with date nights for the parents, and when the kids are old enough, sleepovers at Auntie's house. When they're even older still, you could take them one at a time on vacation with you. The other letter writers are correct, the time goes fast. Being there to be a regular part of their lives will be something they will not forget.
When they get older, the parade of diapers and sippy cups ends and the parade of sports practice, homework, music lessons, and dance class gets into full swing. Having an extra pair of hands, a willing transporter of kids to various events, someone to sit in a folding chair at tee-ball practice while mom or dad can start dinner at home, would grease the wheels and make them turn immeasurably easier.
Good luck to you. It's an adventure, one I wouldn't trade for the world. I'm sure you will be appreciated.
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@ flyover re: Happiness
Buddhism and the Yoga tradition. Happiness comes from within. Chasing happiness leads to disillusion. We have to lose our illusions about the nature of reality to be happy. Attachment leads to misery. Suffering is guaranteed, but the response of misery is optional.
Buddhists believe that peace of mind in the midst of constant change is the basic form of happiness. A well known Buddhist meditation teacher is fond of this quote:
"It is easy enough to be pleasant, When life flows by like a song. But the man worth while is the one who can smile, when everything goes dead wrong." -- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Spiritually, Wilcox was a mystic and Rosicrucian. I'm not big on preprinted greeting cards, bit the cliche/aphorism that explains the agreement between Rosicrucians, Buddhists and other traditions is "All paths lead to the One."
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You're doing the right thing
You'e actually giving back to the world by spending your time and energy with your nieces and nephews. They'll see and hear things from you their parents can't give them. If you want to, you can still go off and have adventures, and when you come back and visit with them , and tell them what you saw and did, they'll probably love it. Their parents can't do these things with them in the same way you can. Looking back now, I don't think everything I did with my immediate family (my parents and sister)was as fun or instructive as it was with my extended family (my grandparents, aunts, and uncles).Why? Because when you do things as a family, each of you is part of a unit, and you have to restrain your own and each others' personalities and desires just to do things AS A FAMILY. But when you're with your nieces and nephews, you'll be spending time with each of them, and doing things with them that they like to do. So go nuts. You'll get to adopt a number of different identities while remaining uniquely special to each of them.
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Since someone asked
As a mom I would be ok with this as long as aunie didn't try to parent, or critize my parenting, or sabatoge my rules in any way. If she wants simply to go to all the piano recitals, take them to cancun once in a while, and help them get their science fair project, that's good. But be careful - you never know what's sacred. For example, I alone want to help my daughter get the prom dress or my son get his license. My cousin once freaked out because someone else cut her toddler's hair. Tread lightly and seriously consider that maybe you really want a family of your own. It's still possible you know. My friend just had her first at 38.
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I wish you were my sister!
I second GretchenP's letter -- I have two young kids and don't live close to my family of origin. My two beloved sisters are 2000 miles away, with young kids of their own. My husband is an only child. I would love to have another sister close by who wanted be involved in my kids' lives. It is a gift to your nieces and nephews that they will have another family member to listen to them and give them love.
I wouldn't worry about territorial issues with your sisters unless you've had a history of family dysfunction, which you haven't indicated. A trusted family member offering babysitting or fun activities with the kids? Most parents I know, including me, would be grateful beyond belief.
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i don't want to rain on your parade - and the other's may very well be right, but here's a caveat
it's easy to get into the fantasy of "one big house for all of us" - especially if you are lonely. and it *is* easier that these are sisters not brothers (mother's control the children more than fathers). and when the children are babies, all family members are welcome (so you can take a nap if for nothing else). but when they grow, you have to realize that YOU HAVE NO POWER. and the children will always side with the parents because THEY HAVE NO POWER. if you always remain on good terms with your sisters and know when to TAKE OFF before it gets ugly and you have the money and interest to do so, it can turn out well - i suppose. i took care of my nephews and niece for about a half a year, but that was that. i only got a family when i got my own. as i said, some posters had a different story and i don't want to discourage you. but "god bless(ed) the child that's got his own"