Letters to the Editor
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don't say it was nothing
I was a little disappointed that Cary belabored the meaninglessness, the senselessness, the nothingness of the VaTech tragedy.
Don't say it meant nothing: it meant something, means something, and will continue to mean something for the parents, friends, families who were affected in the events of the day, not just the victims and their friends and family. It meant something to the police officers who arrived on the scene; the paramedics and doctors who treated wounds; the students who had class one period after the German class in 207 Norris Hall; facilities Services staff who had to patch walls, and repair doors and windows in Norris Hall, the English department faculty and staff who attempted to help Seung-Hui Cho when they recognized a young man in pain; and all those people who didn't act, who felt it was slightly out of their bounds; who, because of social mores (or maybe social stigma or taboo) couldn't or wouldn't act; those struggling with a mental illness; those living with those struggling with mental illness; the people who sort campus mail; the students who counted on Professor Librescu to write recommendation letters for graduate school or work...
It means something to everyone of us.
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Mental illness is not that uncommon
I firmly believe that alcoholism is an illness. I believe it is a mental illness with a physical/(genetic?) component. One of the first steps in contolling alcoholism is admitting that you have a problem. There are a large number of people who are alcoholics who have managed to control that illness. If the world can forgive those who suffer from alcoholism (and who do many stupid, hurtful things while under the influence,) I think the world will eventually see most mental illnesses (at least those caused by biochemical imbalances) in the same light. The 12 steps are relevant to many forms of mental illness. The fact that you are working to control your illness is a wonderful thing. It is the first step.
If you hurt people in the past that is unfortunate. Have you simply told them, "I'm sorry that I did (whatever you may have done or said)? Some will forgive you, some will not. Sometimes our own guilt over past actions is greater than the anger of the person we harmed. If you are truly sorry for those actions and have offered an apology, you need to forgive yourself. (Shades of Catholic Confession--"Go and sin no more.")
Those who forgive you are the people you need to spend time with. In addition, you need to find and make new friends. No matter how "normal" you are, you will never please all of the people you may meet.
I doubt that any of us are truly "normal." Some of us have problems that are easier to hide or that do not have a significant impact on our daily life. Since I have a relative who has been diagnosed as a "paranoid schizophrenic," I believe that your problem as described would rate maybe a 5 or 6 on a 1-10 scale. Big enough to be a hinderance, not big enough to stop you.
If you had a similar problem that was purely physical, you would get more sympathy. That's because it's easier to relate to a broken leg, a heart attack, asthma--because we can imagine it befalling any one of us. Because mental illness has acquired such a social stigma, we refuse to admit that any one of us could become mentally ill. That doesn't mean it won't, just that we won't let ourselves believe that it could.
As long as you are taking your medication and seeing your therapist, you are making significant progress. The world can be a cruel place for those who show vulnerability, but there are good, caring, kind people in the world, too. Find those people, stay away from the other and keep going forward.
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12-suck
Keep your AA 12-step crap to yourself. LW isn't addicted to anything, and even if he were, that stuff doesn't work for everyone. Telling someone mentally ill that he is powerless and needs to turn to a higher power to feel better is extraordinarily dangerous and insidiously cruel. It may have stopped you drinking, but you people feel the need to preach it in every corner of life. Just accept that it isn't for everyone.
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Thank you Cary Tennis
That was the most sensible and helpful piece that I've read about this tragedy. It is reassuring to know that America has reasonable people like Cary Tennis to speak to matters of import which help guide the rest of us through the overwhelming media attention that this tragedy provoked.
Thank you Cary Tennis
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Will people with schizoaffective disorder be lumped in with psychotic murderers?
Did you threaten anyone? If not, relax. If so, then, YES, you need to be removed from society and medicated until you are no longer a threat to others.
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should I explain more?
It's not that I blame mentally ill people, I know they were born with this condition and it is not thier fault. But I must insist they get help. I must insist that merely appologizing for STALKING women is not enough. If you can't control your compulsion to stalk women, you must be stopped. Period. Stalking is illegal and deadly and I offer no exceptions for people who "can't help it." If you can't help harming people, society must protect them and take the medical and legal steps necessary to stop the lawbreaking and protect society.
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The voices in my head
Are dictating this letter to Salon.com.
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minimum standards of behavior
Of course the university should have denied Cho an education AFTER he stalked and threatened numerous students and professors and had numerous warnings and offers of help. There is nothing wrong with a minimal standard of behavoir for a university and there is nothing wrong with expelling students who refused to follow those standard and refuse to get help. If you choose to refuse to act with minimal standards of behavior towards other people, you must opt out and leave. If you are unable to control your actions, then you are in no shape to be insociety and must be institutionalized.
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"no tolerance" bullying policies in all schools
If Tech had zero tolerance for bullying like many schools do, those wonderful teachers and students would still be alive.