Letters to the Editor
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There is no excuse in any situation
for that bill. Absolutely, completely appalling.
Under what circumstances would you ever send a friend a bill for gasoline? Under what circumstances would you ever send a friend a bill for an unplanned minor expense of any kind?
Whatever happened during the climbing incident and afterwards is not a factor.
Giving someone a BILL for gasoline when they're dealing with an injury that sent a friend or loved one to the hospital is simply not something that a person with anything resembling manners would ever do.
The biller has revealed himself to be a person with less compassion for others than your average sociopath or serial killer.
I am simply amazed at how so many people here are not disturbed by the bill.
Regardless of what you do, you must cut this bill person out of your life. I suggest you give him that nickname - start calling him Bill, and when people ask, who's Bill?, tell them the story.
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beating a dead horse, I know...
but I'm amazed that for a number of people, there seems to be circumstances under which the bill for the gasoline would be acceptable.
No, no, no. Sorry, no way.
The billing of the expenses is more than just appalling. It's symptomatic of a diagnosable personality disorder.
Inexcusable and unforgivable.
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I have been a rock-climber for 25 years
I have been dropped several times, as well as falling due to my own fool self. As a matter of fact, my Salon member name is the name of a climb at Suicide Rock in California, one I hope to climb someday.
I am always the one responsible for teaching newbies how to belay. The only time I have ever gotten into an argument at the crag is when a female climber said she didn't trust my belaying; my friends collectively defended me and called her a sexist. I think that was kinda extreme, but, hey- don't talk shit about my flawless belaying, lady.
One thing non-climbers can't understand is how serious the bond is between belayer and leader. This isn't doubles tennis: if one screws up, the other (or both) could die. Once a person becomes known as a lousy belay, their opportunities for climbing will vanish. Add that to BILLING YOU FOR GAS after an accident? I see a future for this guy in Extreme Frisbee...
When climbers tie into the rope, they are implicitly accepting the fact that shit happens, the ineffable 'x factor' that can get you killed in a blink. Bolts pull out of the rock after 20 years? Ledge collapses? Squirrel dives into your chalk-bag? x factor and there's nothing to be done. Jesus! I'm shocked I'm still upright and breathing.
Let go of the anger, never climb with a noob again, Thank God it wasn't worse and YOU belay him next time. Belaying is an act of love, like changing diapers or cutting-up steak- it should only be done by those you really trust.
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Unable to take responsibility for his actions
Dump this "friend" -- he cannot accept responsibility for his actions. I hope he does not work in the health care field or any field with direct contact with the public, responsible for the health and safety of others (I'd include firefighters and cops here). His behavior would get him kicked out of nursing or medical school pronto. Don't ever ever trust his ass again. You have to be able to trust your partner if you are climbing or doing anything of that nature. I'm not a climber but I have enough sense and experience from having to trust coworkers in life threatening situations (I work in obstetrics as an RN and midwife). Big red flags about his character here.
Hope your SO heals and finds competent, ethical climbing partners. Yes it's dangerous but it can be done relatively safely, I hear from other RNs who climb. We tend to find out what someone is really made of in these boundary situations, don't we?
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Cary's dead on
Had a smilar, albeit not life-threatening, experience with a formerly very close friend. I lent him my car, he returned it with a nail in the tire, but didn't realize since it was a slow leak. When I went to drive the car home (I was bartending, he dropped it off at work) the tire was completely flat. I cabbed home. When we discussed it the next day, he was so concerned about avoiding the cost of any repair on my car that he forgot to even say, "Sorry I returned your car with a flat tire." He also didn't offer help me deal with getting it fixed, which would have helped me out a lot. Ultimately, it only cost about ten bucks to patch the tire, but all day to accomplish, a day I spent vowing never to loan my car to anyone ever again.
Same situation here, where a friend fails an ethical test because he's too concerned about his own side of the issue. The only answer is, sadly, you gotta write the person off. Espcially in a life/death situation. Most friends, you may never know how they'll respond in a real crisis. This guy has already informed you that he WILL let you down. Lose him.
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Cary's dead on
Had a smilar, albeit not life-threatening, experience with a formerly very close friend. I lent him my car, he returned it with a nail in the tire, but didn't realize since it was a slow leak. When I went to drive the car home (I was bartending, he dropped it off at work) the tire was completely flat. I cabbed home. When we discussed it the next day, he was so concerned about avoiding the cost of any repair on my car that he forgot to even say, "Sorry I returned your car with a flat tire." He also didn't offer help me deal with getting it fixed, which would have helped me out a lot. Ultimately, it only cost about ten bucks to patch the tire, but all day to accomplish, a day I spent vowing never to loan my car to anyone ever again.
Same situation here, where a friend fails an ethical test because he's too concerned about his own side of the issue. The only answer is, sadly, you gotta write the person off. Espcially in a life/death situation. Most friends, you may never know how they'll respond in a real crisis. This guy has already informed you that he WILL let you down. Lose him.