Letters to the Editor
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leave
Go back advice is valid. He gave it go, he experienced a new place, now take what you learned and go home.
Why should he change who he is, what New York made him to fit in with people he doesn't like? Stay yourself and go back!
I moved to Seattle from NYC for a job. Seattle is a beautiful place, but the passive aggressive nature of the people is maddening. NY people has a reputation of being mean and cold, but nothing compares what I've seen here. When things are bad, New Yorkers come together. When things are bad here, they are at each other throats. And another thing, jaywalkers are hunted down and ticketed but serial killers...well, that gets taken of when they get around to it.
My theory is that so many people moved west because they don't like other people and can't get along with other people. I suppose with all this space, they thought it would easier to pretend other people don't exist.
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Why, thank you, david sugarman. :)
I am indeed a Southerner, and I thank you for that pleasantly included and correctly placed capital S, which is much appreciated and a thoughtful touch. Even if I hadn't self-identified, I figured the "might could" and other Southernisms I commonly employ in my writing would out me eventually.
I must point out though, that as far as I know, this is the very first time I have ever insulted you. You see, I really DO enjoy you and you really DO make me smile. I figured a lil piss & vinegar would make it more real, given what you had to say about smiley faces and whatnot. But to be honest, I only added the vinegar to make the sugar go down easier: I know there's only so much sweetness one ol' curmudgeon can take.
We really do aim to please. :)
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no Interrobang, you never did, i only meant you *could*
what it's like, at this end is, you write and write and write, and no one seems to get it. and then someone does! it's a gift that can never be repaid. and i thought that a free pass to say whatever you please, without offense ever taken, was the best i could do.
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Ohhhh! Okay...
So you're giving me a free pass? I'm probably too much of a well-wisher to ever really need it, but you never know. So I thank you just the same! Sorry to have misunderstood -- I think I just inadvertently proved your point about write and write and write... :)
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You can't go home again--NYC has changed while you've been gone, I'll bet.
I had a similar situation...20 years ago I moved from the West Coast to the (ulp!) Midwest to follow a job.
Yes, it was very weird & dislocating and I really hated the midwest (& I still do, in some ways, unfortunately. I mean, the weather is awful. But I also try to remember what I hate about the West Coast--traffic). And you know what? In the Midwest, even mellow West Coasters are considered too brash, aggressive, and outspoken (not to mention too feminist & democrat, but don't get me started about that).
Funny thing, though, when I went back "home" to visit, even after only a year, I realized that the place I was from was longer the place I was from.
Physical things kept changing--new buildings, bridges, and freeways had been built, other things were torn down. The vibe of the place was different. People on the street talked differently, using different slang. Clubs where I used to hang out had closed down. Old friends were gone--many of them weren't there anymore, and those that were left had ended up living their lives in ways that made us not have much in common anymore. My family out there also wasn't like it was--many ended up moving away and many have died off. Plus, I was no longer a grad student...somehow I'd changed too. I would no longer be willing to pay a fortune to live in a dump of an apartment in the club district, for example. And I really would rather live near a safe park where my kid can play instead of one full of alcoholics and drug addicts.
So, LW, I think your sense of dislocation is just Life and (sorry, I know this hurts!) Getting Older. From now on, you might as well face it, nothing is going to be exactly the same as it was before.
On the other hand, if you realize this truth before wasting your life trying to relive your past, you can take the bull by the horns and jump in and make your life where you are at by living it right now the way you want to live it.
(Oh, and you might want to move to LA or San Fran. No need to suffer too much!)
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Drop the New York ego
Your best bet is to drop your New York ego, which every New Yorker falls victim to. You said it yourself -- you grew up in the center of the universe. I currently live in the Midwest, where I grew up, and I lived in San Diego for a short amount of time so I can relate.
But here in the Midwest, we call folks like you "People who just got off the bus from New York." Your aggressivness may be an issue, but what is really problematic is your perception that you're better than everybody else simply because you've had access to the "best of everything" throughout your life and you're used to working faster and harder than everybody else. Not true, but that's your perception, which is why folks from NYC have a hard time fitting in anywhere but NYC. If you would get off your high horse and appreciate the differences and reasons why others live the lifestyles they do, you might start to realize that the world does not revolve around NYC and every culture has its own unique benefits that might appeal to you.
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we travel HERE! and with no weather at all!
in the comfort and safety of our own homes. take advantage of it - by realizing it. it reminds me of hitching in my youth. i'd get thrown together with all sorts that i'd never meet in any other circumstances. they had only two things in common. they were unafraid and they liked to talk. it was equally disorienting and equally enlightening. and to me, particularly american. we can really annoy each other, yet continue speaking to each other. it's inspiring.