Letters to the Editor
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Don't leave yet!
I did a similar thing. Was born and raised in NYC, then moved to Los Angeles, newly divorced at 36, with three boxes and two suitcases. Knew not a single soul. Had the same problems you had (losing friends and not able to figure out why, people asking me if I was angry all the time). But I told myself I was going to give it at least two years before moving back. And...five years later I'm married, expecting my first kid, in my dream job, living in a beautiful apartment in a great neighborhood. I still love NY, always will, but I have a great life in California.
Even if you ultimately decide to go back to NYC, give yourself more time to fully enjoy your time in San Diego. I spent a year in Portland and even though I didn't settle there it was an incredible adventure that I'll never forget.
Good luck and have fun!
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close, but wrong city...
Dude, there's an easy solution. You're miserable because Sandy Eggroll is BORING. Move on up to L.A., and you'll find all the groovy things about California that brought you out here, but with the added attraction of real urban grit and chaos (when you want it). Better yet, move to Hollywood... the Boulevard is like a sunstroked version of Times Square, you can get a decent slice at Greco's Pizza, and we've even got a subway. Hell, the Dodgers didn't go to SD, they knew better. There's loads of New Yawkers here, and I think you'll find that there's a decent compromise between the aspects of NY you're missing, and the vacuous, empty-headed California you're experiencing. L.A.'s pretty cool, trust. I've been here almost five years from Back East, and it takes that long to get used to it (if one ever really does). The hardest part is getting through the first year or so. Get past that, and you'll start to wonder why it took so long to move out here. Luck, and hang in there.
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Where ever you go...
"Where ever you go, you take yourself with you." That's a very old saying my grandmother taught me.
There have been a lot of awfully dumb letters here lately that are about people who don't like the city they are in, or want to live in a glamorous big city (somehow, that glamorous big city is ALWAYS New York -- big yawn). Listen up people: if you are boring or an asshole, you will be boring or an asshole no matter where you go. There is no "perfect place" for any of us.
If Cary's suggestions were remotely realistic (he's way off base here), then most of us would be living in Eastern Europe or Southeast Asia -- where our ancestors immigrated to the US from, because NOBODY would ever leave home with all those great familiar friends and jobs and restaurants. Nobody would ever travel or get an itch to see something new or experience a different kind of life, because GOD FORBID you might have to make new friends or learn new things.
Or 299 million of us would all live in New York City (making it even more exquisitely crowded and miserable and expensive than it is right now) because obviously you can't live happily or productively any place other than THE BIG APPLE.
The fact is that happy, healthy, productive people live EVERYWHERE -- because they were happy, healthy and productive ON THE INSIDE and they are not looking for hipness or glamor or status to be handed to them simply on the basis of their ZIP CODE.
I'd like to think that most intelligent adults over the age of 21 already know this, but apparently Cary Tennis does not, because he keeps giving utterly terrible advice to people on this very subject (and why is it so fascinating to him? That I can't figure out. Maybe he lives in NYC and feels the need to justify it, over and over?)
BTW: there are many excellent reasons to live and make a good life for yourself, LW, in San Deigo, including the obvious which is how stupid and pointless it will be to drag yourself back East with your tail between your legs. For starters, it has one of the most wonderful climates in this hemisphere -- sunny and mild virtually all the time -- great beaches, a thriving economy with lots of good jobs, good hospitals and colleges and a diverse enough population that the LW should have ample opportunities to make friends or whatever he wants.
Oh and this: Grow up, or you will find yourself relocating every time you have the slightest disappointment in life, which will be expensive and stupid.
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NYC to SD
NYC is great but,
I was not born in NYC but spent the most formative years of my life there 20 - 23 and still know that to feed my soul, a trip to NYC will do the trick. I went from THE CITY to The City -- San Francisco and after 18 months was in love with it. You want grit -- give it a try. You want art, theater, dance, great food, snottyness ... go there. It's terrific. And guess what? I moved to L.A. five years ago and it is also terrific. L.A. is in a cultural rennaisance that will test the East Coast in the next few years. The point is: it's not an either/or situation. But holy smokes life is not a San Diego or New York City debate. If those were the only two choices in life .... sheesh.
Provincialism can exist wherever you're from.
gk
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Dear New York Asshole: Drop Dead
"When yer leavin' New Yawk, yer goin' nowhere!"
How many times have I heard some asshole from New Yawk say that.
Well, it's true, New Yawka. There's no place that can compare to the Big Rotten Apple, so why try.
Go home. Go back. Go back to where you once belonged.
For one thing, your accent makes you sound like Howard Stern, and for another, most New Yawkas think their shit doesn't stink. That's rather irritating for the rest of us who have to listen to an asshole New Yawka always comparing everything to New Yawk and bragging about how everything is bigger and better in New Nawk. Honestly, you are worse than Texans.
You like Mexican food? Hey, dey ain't no Mexican food as good as you get in New Yawk.
You like the women in California? Hey, deys a bunch of bow wows compared to da chicks in da Bronx.
New Yawk's got everything! When ya leavin' New Yawk, ya just goin to da sticks.
Get back Jo Jo.