Letters to the Editor
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Back in the day...
... when I was a young thing, I wanted to be a real hippie, yet no matter how long my hair and how flared my pants, and how much hash was smoked, I never quite felt that I was a real hippie, and although my friends all had the paraphenalia of hippiedom, I still felt that they were all bourgeois under the surface.
Of course, decades later I learned that even incredibly hip people like Mick Jagger just wanted to make a lot of money and get laid a lot. This was a great disappointment to me, because had I not been a hippie, I probably could have made more money and gotten laid more too.
Over time lot of my hippie friends became heroin addicts, and my wife, who was really cool, decided that life with me was not hip enough, left me, moved to a hipper location, and found another hipper man and filed for divorce. However, before the divorce was completed, she managed to kill herself with a heroin overdose. A few weeks later the hip boyfriend who had turned her on to the joys of heroin topped himself too.
All this was long ago, and now everyone perceives me as straighter than straight and I play Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald and read Jane Austen, and I am perfectly happy and keep my hair short so the baldness is less obvious, and get all my clothes at WalMart and am still better dressed than 90% of people, and bake bread and make jam and have a wonderful girlfriend who thinks I am really cool. Silly girl!