Letters to the Editor
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I Love Porn
My early teenage introduction to it was late night skin-a-Max and classic soft-core magazines. What a giant snooze. It’s like the NASCAR of pornography and in my experience it attracts all the wrong sort of men (and generally speaking men only).
But I was still interested enough that when I turned 18 my boyfriend and I ventured in the ‘back room’ of our local video store to explore a warehouse of porn organized by it’s various styles and fetishes (the internet was still in its infancy). It turns out I like the 1970s stuff when the plumber stops by to ‘snake the housewife’s drain:’ I find it to be comical and almost sweet without loosing the hotness. I also like hairy guys. I don’t care what any of you say: Ron Jeremy was hot when he was young. I’ve got lots of other likes too – but most of what’s out there is trash. It’s like books, movies, TV, magazines or anything else in the media: not everything is going to be to your individual tastes.
I also don’t find it isolating at all. I often watch it in bed with my husband (yeah for laptops and wireless internet). It’s the sort of space and time that being objectified is safe and fun and desirable. There is an adult toy shop in NYC that’s funny and cool that I go to – you can get in an adult conversation with another adult and they set you up with what you’re interested in.
I guess my point is there is a huge difference between some sad, lonely person spending 6 hours a day Googling “asian teen sluts” and what (in my experience) is your average porn viewer. I can share a bottle of wine over dinner and its fine in the same way that I can queue up my favorite ‘pool guy’ porno in bed, and listen to some derogatory language from a loved one, and its fine. I’m still a productive, social, happy member of society and I’m still a feminist.
Finally – I myself would be very hesitant of getting involved with a man who thought porn was just inherently dirty and gave me a hard time about it. That’s the kind of sexual oil & vinegar that I just won’t deal with. Call me dirty or abnormal and I’m out the door. If the LW’s boyfriend was my friend I’d tell him as much - I don't think it's a good match.
And just to be clear: yes, I am a woman.