Letters to the Editor
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cary and vicky v...porn is personal...
Now, let me preface this with my discomfort about the "porn industry." I remember a comic who had a riff in his act about how he has a little daughter and how he is raising her to have a wonderful self-esteem. Of course, the downside to all this, he said, is that if everyone starts doing this, there will be no more pole dancers! But, I buy lots of goods that are made in China by political prisoners so I guess I am not going to try to be responsible for reforming the porn biz on my own either.
Porn is personal. To Cary it seems to be a bad thing. I mean, my goodness -- read his answer. Crack, indeed! It is causing Vicky V personal discomfort. That is important and not to be ignored by her boyfriend.
But, I agree with many of the posters here. I think her problem is more a "relationship problem" than a "porn problem." I had one beau who watched porn so much I used to laugh at him. But he treated me like a princess, had no sexual hang-ups and was a terrific lover. I had another beau who watched a little porn "on the sly" because he had tons of sexual hang-ups and constantly "self-censored" himself. As time went on he also tried to muzzle me and my sexuality.
But, to most reasonable people, porn is an end to itself. The brain is the most important sexual organ. Few people REALLY want to have the experiences they enjoy watching in porn -- and unless they are movie producers or rap stars it usually doesn't go well, anyway. It can be one element of a well-rounded sex life and a "filler" when you are between lovers. It is not for everyone and a lot of porn is dreck.
But, Cary, your comment is insulting to a lot of people AND didn't address Vicky V's relationship problem.
Vicky V -- if you have issues with your boyfriend, discuss them. I don’t think it is the porn. It is probably insecurity and "ghosts" from your past relationship. If your new boyfriend cares about you, he will help you sort things out. If he cannot give up porn until you become more secure or if you cannot work to become more secure, then you have bigger things to resolve than whether your new BF likes Big'Uns 2 -- The New Orgy Adventure!