Letters to the Editor
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I just burned out.
I have had a similar experience. However, with me it was a case of burnout that was the result of what I think of as misuse. When I first started working I loved my work and I did some really great, innovative and extremely useful things. Where there had been a ineffective mess, I created a really effective and useful system. My bosses were all extremely pleased and gave me really good pay raises.
But then things changed. Or rather they wouldn't let me change things anymore. They were so happy with the system I made that they didn't want me to make any changes to it - even if it made things better. Then on a special project basis I was a given a task that was particularly mindnumbing - lots and lots of small details. I did the tasks and even though I really didn't like it I did a good job. Too good. I was given even more of these tasks to do. I again did them well but I hated it. I let my dislike of the tasks be known to my boss but his hands were tied and I kept being asigned more of the same. At one point, all I was doing was this type of task - I was in Hell.
Then I broke. To keep with the cog analogy - all the teeth on my cog were broken off. I could spin but nothing useful happened. The harder I worked the less got done.
I was given other assignments but by then the damage was too great. I failed at just about everything I did. Then I was fired. That was two years ago. I haven't been able to work since. My savings are just about depleted and I'm facing being homeless in a few months. I've developed severe health problems and I doubt that I will be able to survive on the street.
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Who can resist an Office Space quote?
"You see Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care."
Seriously, find another job. There's more than Initech out there.
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reply to Cosmic Mojo
The only person who used the database was my boss. It still served her needs well, despite my non-updating of it.
I probably did about a month's work of work during my two years there. So it wasn't absolutely nothing at all. I should have said I did "next to" nothing. When I had to do something, I did it. My reviews were good and my boss was happy with me. I think that they just may not have realized I was capable of doing much, much more.
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I work in a sea of people like you!
I currently work in a non-profit organization that has a long standing tradition of personnel not doing their jobs. My immediate co-workers are some of the worst I've encountered. My assistant exploits her apparent "health problems" that doctors can't seem to pin point and takes copious amounts of sick leave. Another co-worker shows up around 9:30 when he is supposed to be here by 8:30. Our supervisor sanctions this behavior. Every day I am surrounded by apathetic, lazy co-workers who lack any sort of vision of what we should be doing in the future. Meanwhile, administration hacks away at our budget every year. Despite the overarching toxicity of the institution as a whole, most people around here are content to stay until retirement. Unfortunately, I have noticed I am becoming more like them as my productivity levels are nearing a screeching halt, so I have decided to leave. I can only swim against the current for so long; three years in certainly enough.
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No work to do
I had a job for a judge that required maybe, if I was lucky, 15 minutes of work a day. It was soul-sucking. I worked for a judge who had been judge for 20 years, and everyone knew not to bother him. We did have one murder trial, but it only lasted for 2 days because it was so open and shut.
For the first few weeks it was ok, but surfing the internet for 8 hours a day does get boring. I'm also really good at looking busy. I swear, people would walk into my office and comment on how I was always working.
There were 3 other law clerks (each with their own judge), and they always seemed busy, so either they were good fakers like me or they actually had things to do.
At my new job, I still have moments each day where I don't work, but I do have things to do. The day goes so much faster when there is actual work to be done. But looking around, I think I still do less than most people. I read really fast, so I think that helps. And when I am working, I am working fast. I mean, 100 people do the exact same thing as me at my office, and I'm still in the top 15 only working half a day.
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It's real
Dear L.W.
In December, I took a month off. Except I showed up at the office everyday.
There was a lot of stuff going on, but it came down to one thing I didn't really understand yet: I had ADD, and it was real.
I wasn't a stereotypical kid-with-ADD. That was my brother, the obnoxious, squirmy, misbehaving one. I was the sweet, kind, quiet one who no one ever noticed. So I slipped through the cracks.
A teacher, if they would notice me, had this to say: I don't live up to my potential. I was a B- student because I would consistently do as little work as possible to get by, often putting it off to the last minute.
I graduated college and never spent more than a year in a job. I would get bored and move on to a newer, more interesting opportunity. Or get laid off in tough economy. Whatever came first. It always happened right on time, because I was already losing interest.
I am supposed to be a Creative type, but I haven't successfully completed a major creative work yet. I lose interest and move on.
I got depressed about the fact that my life was going no where and mad at myself for taking a month off at my job, which was completely irresponsible-- I knew it.
So I went in for help, and came out with a formal ADD diagnosis. The family history helped.
I am still sorting everything out. Three months of medication alone doesn't undo 3 decades of bad habits. But I do see changes, as does my wife.
What I don't understand is this: how the hell did no one notice that I didn't do my job for a month?
Signed anonymously for now.