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Letters
Monday, April 9, 2007 12:00 AM

Is my 13-year-old son gay?

I think my seventh-grader was looking at some gay porn. What do I say to him? What do I do?

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  • Monday, April 9, 2007 06:29 AM

    No need to label him at age 13

    Maybe he's thinks he might be gay, maybe he knows he is, maybe he's just curious about sex. There's no reason for the parents or the kid to label him at this age. Let him figure it out.

    But I also have a 13 year old son and I agree I would talk to him about curiosity being ok and having porn in the house is not. But the LW should think very carefully about his own attitude and what he'll be conveying to his son when he has this talk. The letter mentioned that he and his wife don't think it's "normal" to view gay porn. If you're going into it with the attitude that being gay isn't normal, he's going to pick up that message and not talk to you about his already confused feelings. This talk could end up setting the stage for a lifetime of talks or a lifetime of not wanting to tell you anything. Thirteen year olds are prickly creatures!

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