Letters to the Editor
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I feel your pain, LW
We have a painting--amateurish, boring landscape--on the wall of our dining room. My DH's grandmother painted it.
We have several other amateurish, boring landscapes scattered around the house--MIL painted them.
Do I love them? Hell no. Do I like them? Not really. But I can deal with three or four, in my entire house. Because they matter to him. If we had hung every single painting his mother ever did, I would be in a bad mood, every day. I remember telling DH, "Our home does NOT have to turn into the (MIL's maiden name) family gallery."
I have no advice for you, you have received plenty of it, from people with more knowledge of art than mine.
But I do understand wanting to honor a departed parent. So we have a silly mallard (for my dad) on our mantel. And I use my mother's Christmas plates every year. For me, though, honoring my parents, living or dead, is not about becoming them. It's about being the best ME that I can be, and demonstrating for MY children that who they are and what and whom they love is just fine with me, because THEY love them.
I do suspect that your mother would have felt the same.
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Her art, your home
You don't say how the paintings came to be hung around your place. Before your mother died? After? Some of each?, probably. How much was she in on them being there? and how much did you put them up after she died so you could have her around? so to speak. Just trying to get the flavor of things.
Our unhappiness has such weird ways of stating things to us. You say, "Aesthetics matter so much to me ('more than your own mother'...) You might have said that aesthetics matter so much to you, more than your mother's aesthetics do.
Maybe it's too oblique, but I remember a woman I knew (not intimately) years ago who was a potter and sculptor. Her place was filled with her work in a way that over-whelmed the environment. Fair enough for a working artist wanting to be in the midst of their work, but the place had the air of her museum to her; and as well that she put it all there because there wasn't much of her. Surrounding and engulfing; visually very loud, just by the amount of it, not by what was portrayed. The work itself wasn't to my taste but was certainly competent.
With your mother's work, you can fairly quickly take it all down and tuck it away somewere and wander around in your space for a while and see what it's like. Or take down one room's-worth. You can always put it back up.
It's your turf. Parents have a place, but it's your life. That's as it should be. My mother painted. She's gone now. We weren't that close; or, there were strong feelings but we weren't that close. All I have up of hers is a little watercolor, from before she hit her stride, of some houses on a Roman hillside, close up. Roof lines, walls. Nice little thing. The glass broke a few years back when it dropped, and I haven't fixed it. A bit of mat is torn.
Best,
Monty
(more, for free: google "Rabid Fanatic" +"Monty Johnston"
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Art versus Memorabilia versus Decoration
I understand the LW’s dilemma. I too am in possession of my mother’s old artworks. I should note that my mother is still living, though she is institutionalized, suffering from Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, a severe brain disease.
My mother worked in oil. Some of her canvases are magnificent and inspiring. Others are dull, lifeless and sterile. The vast majority fall somewhere in-between. But because they are the works of my mother, I love them all. Objectively, though, none suit my artistic taste. That is, if I found any one of her works hanging in a gallery, I would probably not purchase it. That being said, many of my mother’s efforts do indeed occupy prominent spaces on the walls of my home.
But, then so does the work of my children. Framed finger-paints of fading tempuras are expertly matted and hang among my cherished collection of memorabilia and family photos, as well as works by recognizable artists such as Dali and Cezanne. All this art is presented as a unified whole, though, as I’ve taken care with matting, framing and lighting on even the most humble of these creations. Those visiting my home often comment admiringly as they inquire about the displays. I respond (gleefully, I admit) that the artist is my son at five, or that I am the photographer and the subject is my father. In art, as in food, presentation is essential. Although I am, of course, unaware of the condition or display of LW’s paintings, I suspect that they may not be presented to their best advantage. After expending a small effort to highlight her mother’s art to its benefit, her attitude toward it may change.
I am a little older than the LW. When I was her age, I too was preoccupied with the styles I found in glossy magazines and model homes, believing that these were fashions that should be emulated in order to be, well, fashionable. I strove for many years to imitate those styles in my own home, buying matched sets of this or that and surrounding myself with orthodox creativity (an oxymoron if ever there was one). Older and wiser, I am no longer consumed with creating a picture that adheres to a societal standard of aesthetics. My home is now a gallery of my family, my life and my adventures. Though my gallery may be lacking in artistic skill or sensibility, I couldn’t be more comfortable in my surroundings.
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Create a bound photo book of the paintings
This is not about aesthetics, it's about permission.
Permission to divest herself of these paintings. I'm sure she loves her mother and sees her mother in each and every painting. But you do not have to live with the paintings or put them in storage forever to honor her.
Inventory is a good idea, but not for monetary reasons. Get a good camera... some lights... and take a picture of each and every painting.
There are many photo sites that will now print books, hardbound beautiful books (Apple does a very nice job with this through iPhoto).
Have a bound book made up of all the paintings. Keep it on your coffee table.
Keep three, that you think your daugther might want in the future. And either sell, donate or gift all the others.