Letters to the Editor
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The grandmother knew what she was doing
I used to work for a lawyer and believe me, the grandmother knew what she was doing naming you by name. These sort of issues come up all the time and any competent lawyer would have pointed out that you would still get the money in the event of a breakup with your partner. In fact, that is expressly why it's best practice to name recipients in your will, rather than refer to people as "my nephew and his partner."
So she considered the fact that you two might break up and decided to leave it to you anyway. If she was worried by a possible break-up, she would simply have left it all to him. There's no ethical dilemma that I can see - she wanted you to have it. I guess she liked you, even though you weren't close.