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I could have written that letter, a few times, to my infinite humiliation. Serious work on myself is all that got me over it (and I was lucky enough to find the love of my life, which didn't hurt). For me that meant getting sober and getting humble, but it didn't end there. I don't know what it'll mean for you. It's a painful place to be in, that obsessive, out-of-control place, and I don't miss it at ALL. I wish you the best.