You don't seriously expect any of us to believe it, do you??

As an avid strength trainer myself, it sounds like he's probably having roid rages. His behavior sounds pretty typical of guys who use steroids.

He could also be taking speed. It's less widely discussed, but many bodybuilders, (thankfully, not all) are major users and abusers of stimulants from coffee to meth. Those ignorant bastards are starving themselves of fats and carbs so much that they have little energy to function. Hence, they reach for something that will pick them up.

Which brings me to my solution - if this guy is using any illegal drugs, report him to the cops. Most places have hotlines you can call to report druggies.

Personally, I wouldn't advocate this measure for a common pothead, but that drug doesn't make you as violent as roids and speed do, especially when they're taken together.

Hey Rob,

You need to spend some time in a gym. Not the usual chain health club for yuppies, but a real hardcore place. Those gyms are crawling with guys like the screamer and most gym managers don't give a fuck as long as "screamer" pays his dues.

That's partly why I work out at home.

I also suspect the writer lives in the south from his description of his situation, ie, redneck loudmouth, cops and code enforcement not doing shit about the situation. I can tell you that there are lots of guys like that here in Florida.

The LW really needs to consult with a good lawyer.

...and call the landlord EVERY TIME the Dude makes a noise no matter what time it happens to be.

Within 2 weeks, the Dude will be gone. Once the landlord starts to lose sleep over this idiot, the problem will cure itself.

Stop being the nice guy.

I'm Sorry, But This LW's Story Sounds Like A Monty Python Sketch

You don't seriously expect any of us to believe it, do you??

Sure I do. I have my own neighbor issues.

First, of course the LW has to disclose the nuisance in the sellers' disclosure statement. And, of course, any perspective buyers will likely hear the Dude during an open house or private showing of the property.

Second, call the landlord, as someone else suggested, every single time the Dude goes off. Start a journal and note the date and time the Dude went off and the date and time you called the landlord. Also note the length of time that the Dude made excessive noise. If you call the police, be sure to get an incident number, and again note the date and time you placed the call.

This is all in preparation of suing the landlord for not dealing with the situation of this noisy "tenant" on his property. By allowing the nuisance to continue unabated, the landlord is affecting the value of the LW's property and possibly the ability to sell it. This is usually actionable in court. However, the LW has to document, document, document. Start now.

Dude sounds like a blast to party with. I say put the book down, drag some busted box springs onto your porch, lift some weights and do fake tai-chi in your yard with the local classic rock station at top volume. Out-Dude the Dude.

Once Dude sees that he has a peer next door, maybe you can influence him - set an example by confining your fights to texting.

If you really want to see this guy go, consider the standard haunting approach. The average doped-out speedfreak is highly susceptible to fake ghost scares, and should spook out of his apartment quickly - if done right!

Oh, the indignity of living inside this tacky mingling of class. You are truely the second coming of Thurston Howell.

give him a thousand dollars to leave the area, or else give him some 'special' crank to snort . . .

From the sounds of it your neighbor is being very un-Dude.

Don't be such a pussy, beat his fucking ass.

He'll move. He'll have to.

Get it impounded. Tell the cops you saw him selling drugs out of the car. Or that he was using drugs in the car. Or that the tags are expired. I'm sure there's SOMETHING about those cars that can get them impounded. I'm not cracked out, pay rent, and don't have screaming matches in the street, and I have unpaid tickets. I'm sure The Dude has enough going on with at least one of those cars to get it impounded.

There might even be a bench warrant out for a long-standing ticket. Hell, rip the tags off his car so he'll get pulled over. Maybe he'll get pulled over while in a roid rage, and end up in the slammer. He'd like it. 3 hots and a cot, plus plenty of weights in the yard.

I've had a few neighbors like this. I've called the landlord each and every time. I've learned that the police get annoyed mighty quick getting repeatedly called on noise complaints unless it's a really high-end area. If it's at all urban, or simply not a suburban bastion to all that is good and pure in the world then they'll feel like you're wasting time and resources of the police department when they could pursue concerns that either make them money (like tickets) or protect others (like criminals). So bug the landlord. Bug the hell out of him. Keep a log, for sure. Mail him the log every time you add to it. Call the police sometimes...especially when you think he'll be screaming for a while, and can maybe be busted for disorderly conduct.

Find out what kinds of disturbances will translate to your landlord losing money. Some issues that landlords don't resolve end up becoming the kinds of problems that cost them money. Try to figure out ways to make this guy an even bigger financial drain on your landlord. Find out about squatter laws too, since he's not paying rent.

I sympathise. Bad neighbours have wrecked my life from time to time. Now I live on a corner block across the road from the park, and at least twice a day I savour the peace and the silence.

However there may not actually be a problem. Someone looking to buy your place may not react to the dude the way you do - because you have 'history' with him, they don't. Believe it or not you have may still get a great price for your place. I think you should put it on the market and see who bites and what they offer. If someone asks you be honest about the neighbourhood. It's great - and there is a colourful character living next door who surely can't last long.

This happened with me when we were renting out our flat last year. I warned the tenants about the noisy neighbours upstairs - but subsequently they haven't had a problem with them. Part of it was I think that I had become hypersensitive over the years. Part of it was that they moved out soon after. Time is the great tenant-mover-onerer.

I second the suggestion of phoning the landlord every time, as well as the council and the police. 'Just thought you should know'. It really works. Pyschologically for you as well as practically. Dump your concerns on the landlord's head.

Whatever you do don't let it get personal between you and the dude. Lie low. He's the one with time and excess rage on his hands and you don't want him to perceive you as his problem.