- Top Features:
- War Room
- Glenn Greenwald
- Broadsheet
- Joan Walsh
- Camille Paglia
- Since You Asked
- Follow Salon:
Read other letters about this article
...And I say this as a Chinese-American man.
When I was in my mid-twenties, I was in a May-December relationship with a White woman in her mid-forties. My parents knew of her, and though they disapproved, I stood my ground. (In the end, we broke up, but it wasn't because of my parents.)
A man should stand up for the love of his life. If he can't stand up for her when the chips are down, then what is she to him, really?
Are you merely a respite from the demands of his parents? Will you really be able to count on him? What kind of relationship is it when you can't stand together in the face of adversity?
I bet questions like these come your mind and gnaw incessantly at you.
Look, he can be respectful. He can be gentle. He can try to work things out with his parents and maybe negotiate some aspects of the relationship with them - perhaps a surrogate mother for offspring? But the bottom line is, he has to take a principled stand for you.
I say leave him if he cannot do that. There are other good Chinese-American men out there. :)
