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I think Cary hit the nail on the head here. It's not about how the situation SHOULD occur. It's about how it IS. These two are living in 2 different cultures, and BOTH cultures need to be acknowledged. I agree strongly with CT about the parents possibly having greater influence on their son, than the girlfriend. While not common in my own family (I am Asian-American), many of my friends who are also Asian-American have parents who are traditionally minded and would possibly react as the LW's in-laws are, though not to that extent. This is particularly true in less Americanized Chinese cultures.
Nice to see that you're back, Cary!
