- Top Features:
- War Room
- Glenn Greenwald
- Broadsheet
- Joan Walsh
- Camille Paglia
- Since You Asked
- Follow Salon:
Read other letters about this article
The issues you are dealing with are the ones every person from a "peasant" (non-industrialized) culture deals with. These cultures are heavily family-centric. Whereas industrialized societies are more indivual-centric.
So if you want to date/have a relationship with someone from the old-world you want to make sure these folks have individuated. By this I don't mean have a job, live independently etc. It means that he must allow himself to be "selfish" and take care of his needs, at the expense of his parents needs. Something you may already have done as an adolescent. Balancing these two is something we spend a lifetime doing, but you should be able to have enough overlap in this regard to become a strong unit.
Unfortunately sometimes when you individuate you lose the safety-net of family and their larger culture, and rely more on yourself and your partner. Is he prepared to do this? The pressure on the two of you is greater, so your relationship has to be solid. You need more than being in love or inertia. When stresses occur in your relationship, he will rely on his family and friends for help, as will you but he will to a greater degree. So since you're both from "different worlds" you have to figure this out now.
